These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
So it has been a month since my altercation with my sweet sweet Gus. (Details listed in previous blog.) The healing emotionally and the understanding of it has certainly been a process.
My face looks great! It still needs healing inside, (under the skin...some numb areas, some nerves still not working; but nothing I can't live with) My face is “asymmetrical” because of that, but even that is improving slowly and steadily.
Am beginning to be aware of some insights....and the situation has really connected to my professional work.
A few people have told us they saw this in gus....his potential…..but we never did: never in three years did either of us see this. (Reasons for this I will explain in a minute.)
This happens to me with people too….. I always see and look for the best in people. Goethe’s quote has been my mantra.... "if you treat a man as he is he will remain as he is, if you treat him as if he were what he could be and ought to be, he will become that.."
Sometimes I get blindsided by people....just as i was with gus....
The situation has been teaching us a different level of awareness so as not to get blindsided.
The state of mind I was in when I hugged gus was not alert / aware. (a little alcohol involved) a little altered. So my judgment or the lack there of is definitely a factor.
I am also am ashamed to say my love for and relationship with animals has been so selfish.... I sucked up their love and come to be dependent on it, with out regards to any need they might have. It is probably why I have never had a cat. They are too independent and they tell you when they want love, and really are not interested in when you need it.
We are entering into a new energy dynamic. We have been listening to him, now and with subtle clues he has been telling us where not to pet him. (or hug him) and for that i am respecting him more. The clues are subtle. (Obviously missed them due to my altered state)
This lesson is not just about respect, awareness and trust but is also about unconditional love.
We decided not to put gus down. Domestic violence batterers can beat the crap out of a partner and not be put down, often don’t go to jail and sometimes don’t even get a slap on the hand, so since they get to roam freely to do this again, figured gus had at least another chance.
Was surprised how many people wanted us to do that, and thought there was no other option. I do believe that thinking is fearful and somewhat narrow. We don’t kill alligators or snakes and tigers, but we live respectively honoring their position as wild animals. Gus has bitten and I will honor his potential to do it again, but will not stop loving him! We love him differently and respectively.
I am still grieving. Although Gus is still with us my relationship with him as it was is gone. My innocence is gone. My comfort at hugging him is gone; But opportunities to develop a new kind of relationship continues to exist however.
One of the biggest things we got from the pet healer (link to her site is listed above) is how to communicate with our animals. We tell him everyday what our expectations of him are, and every day we listen to him to see what he needs too. We are learning about non verbal communication.
Rich and I both get tired of politics because of the lying. But both of us are learning to hear and listen to clues rather than get overwhelmed with just words. Those same lessons are relevant as we work with animals. They can’t speak but they do communicate clearly if we listen.
It is in that non verbal communication that energy is exchanged. And both of us have been opening up to a new type of energy work, because of this. At the core of it is intent.
Intent is the combination of well thought out words and deeply aware desires. (All deserving of a separate entry) For now I just want to close by saying, that the pet healer allowed us to verbalize our desire to heal in words that were congruent to reality and physics. She also facilitated intent full of love and helped us reduce our fear and enhance our power through love. (Nothing mystical about it, and yet all spiritual and etheric)
We now are taking that to our clients and to our friends (and animals) Words combined with well informed intent, inspired from love, respect, without condition and trusting always the out come is exactly what it is supposed to be.
I still have a lot of questions about the violence in the animal kingdom, and the survival of the fittest. I have begun asking question of my higher self. I need some understanding of what God was thinking when he created a system that depended on killing another for their survival. Another topic another blog.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The incident and the gate to healing
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
Some history:
Rich (my husband) and I have been married for 17 years although we have known each other since we were 9. We both love animals; especially dogs. We have had several dogs together as a couple and several in our childhood and previous relationships.
Polly is a longhaired flat coat type black lab. Any one who meets her immediately is attracted to her sweetness and beauty. She is like a person and is very intuitive. She prefers people to other dogs. She tolerates other dogs and animals, but will always seek out attention and play with humans. Up until three years she was the only dog. (And very much the princess alpha dog) And loyal and connected to each of us equally. She was a rescue dog and was probably less than a year when we got her. (in Florida)
Three years ago we were presented with the opportunity to rescue Gus after hurricane Katrina. He was brought to Florida from Mississippi by our VET. At first I did not connect with him, because he didn’t have a lab personality, and he was presented to us as a lab. After spending the weekend with him however and watching his body language, it became apparent to us that he had boxer in him. He has a boxer type personality. (And a beautiful boxer body and Lab face) When he plays with other boxers (females) they run and play the same). Then we fell in love with him. And have had him ever since: about 3 years.
For three years Gus has been a joy, a love, a playful delight. We have had hours of raw gratefulness that we were given two such incredible treats as these two children. Now as delightful as Gus has been, he is a dog. He could care less about people, but loves to play with dogs. When Polly doesn’t want to play, Gus willingly turns to us, and we have a blast with him. We have hugged, wrestled with, rolled around on the floor with, and probably invaded every inch of “his space”. Without any remote sign that there ever could be a problem. I even reached down once and took a piece of raw animal meat out of his mouth that he was chewing on like an addict sucks on his drug, without even a growl or a dirty look. Some people were afraid of him because his boxer body and strength could knock you over if you were paying attention to where his body was going. But he has always been a delight. He sort of became Rich’s dog and Polly became my dog. However both dogs follow Rich when he is outside and follow me when it is inside time.
From a pure energetic perspective, Gus has been sound asleep in other part of the house and yet senses when I am meditating and about 10 minutes into the journey he seeks me out and puts his paw on my arm or lays down next to me.
Polly looks into your eyes and you know she is connected to you and is speaking to you with her eyes. With Gus that spiritual connection is not in his eyes but always seems to show up when spirit is being honored or communed with.
I am very much connected to my animal totems; which at this time I connect with about 9 of them. Rich is a whisperer type to many animals, dogs, cats, horses and doesn’t believe in killing any of them.
THEN… Wednesday before Thanksgiving after dinner, I reached over (was sitting on the floor next to Gus) and hugged him. He was licking rich’s plate from dinner, and out of the blue he turned and attacked me, with violence. (I can still see in my minds eye the look on his face for that split second before his jaws hit my face). To get him off of me, rich kicked him out of instinct (which is unlike rich’s passive personality) and Gus then turned on him, but only got his shoe. He ripped my cheek to shreds, and ended up in one ER who transferred me to another due to the severity of it, and 100 stitches later, I am home and in totally shock. His shots were up to date so we quarantined him here. I am healing physically with great speed; thee plastics guy was truly impressed. But emotionally I am trying to figure this out.
Gus has changed in all of this. He used to happily bound over to me, wiggling his butt and smiling. Now he sadly strolls over turns around and just sits down next to me, with such sad eyes.
My big melt down was Saturday night after the incident, and I was ready to put the dog down. Rich was not. Then after much discussion he became more open to it, but then I did not feel good about it.
We decided on a plan: Which included:
1. getting the opinion of our holistic vet.
2. getting the opinion of a traditional vet
3. getting the opinion of a trainer or behavioral specialist
4. getting a muzzle for when unexpected company comes
5. to kennel him when the grandchildren come
6. praying and seeking out are own independent wisdom
Then we heard about a healer / pet psychic. http://www.healingwholeself.net/index.htm We decide to start there. She asked us to give her a little history and describe our circumstances, which is where the majority of this blog has come from.
This is what I / we said to her:
From a psychotherapeutic perspective: I love this dog, and can pet him, and walk him and talk to him with love. I am saddened that I do not feel safe with him. Heart wrenching sad that I can’t (won’t) hug him. I can’t figure this out. I was so blindsided. However: I also know I have some responsibility to be sure this never happens again to another animal or another human.
I am also a firm believer in the laws of attraction: And know that I/we attracted this into our life to provide wisdom, growth, and love. I know the universe is blessing us as we speak because we have had this experience. I can be grateful for it, as I simultaneously feel fear. I do not make decisions out of fear; I try to make them out of love.
The Intention of session:
Our consensus together of what we needed from the session was:
1. Some understanding of why he did it? (We want him to feel good and feel safe and us not do again what ever it was that we did to trigger this)
2. Healing for us: Emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually (us meaning Gus, Rich and I)
3. What do we do now? Should we put him down to insure the safety of “others”?
Other relevant miscellaneous information:
Rich and I are a very balanced couple. (True yin and yang) I thought that the majority of this was for my benefit, because I took the biggest hit. But also knew it affected us both tremendously.
My husband is a very old soul who lives in the present moment. His spirituality is subtle (but actually can be more powerful than mine) He is very concrete, and linear. I am very actively participating in my journey and can flip from right to left brain almost to a fault. I do energy work, have been on shamanic journeys and can relate to what you say on your web site. I have believed that prior to this that there were no accidents, only levels of awareness and consciousness. This event has gone to the core of that. What did I miss?
I have never been able to explain to him in language he understands, what channeling is, or even energy work. but believe on many levels that he does it without even knowing it. (He is an old old healer) He is not skeptical about what healers and light workers do, because he has seen so many spiritual miracles come out of situations I present to him (like going to a sweat lodge etc). But he kept asking: “well what is she going to do? Does she give advice, or does she see things or what?” His precious very simplistic mind can not wrap itself around what healing from an energetic perspective is all about. (I really don’t know either but I just trust the process and know that intuitively it’s the right thing to do.)
We both knew there were past traumas related to animals wrapped up in this: (ie: Rich had a dog with his ex wife. Her name was Mission. She was a huge St Bernard. (I have seen pictures of her). He had to put her down because his apartment was too small and the neighbors complained about her. He said: “I will never forgive myself for that.”
We lost a dog to an alligator attack, another beloved dog to heart worm despite being treated, another one hit by a car etc…
We knew the need for healing existed on all levels. Will try to describe in words exactly what happened in our session. But will do that in another message. This message needs to end with the thought that. We are grateful we did not react impulsively. We are grateful we started with a healer. We have decided to keep Gus.
We are grateful for the abundance of prayers and love we have received. We are grateful for the healing of my face. (at the level of a miracle). We are grateful for light workers, and energy healers. We are grateful for the many gifts we have begun to discover as a result of this incident. I still have questions about it… but the fear and anxiety of it has substantially subsided.
Some history:
Rich (my husband) and I have been married for 17 years although we have known each other since we were 9. We both love animals; especially dogs. We have had several dogs together as a couple and several in our childhood and previous relationships.
Polly is a longhaired flat coat type black lab. Any one who meets her immediately is attracted to her sweetness and beauty. She is like a person and is very intuitive. She prefers people to other dogs. She tolerates other dogs and animals, but will always seek out attention and play with humans. Up until three years she was the only dog. (And very much the princess alpha dog) And loyal and connected to each of us equally. She was a rescue dog and was probably less than a year when we got her. (in Florida)
Three years ago we were presented with the opportunity to rescue Gus after hurricane Katrina. He was brought to Florida from Mississippi by our VET. At first I did not connect with him, because he didn’t have a lab personality, and he was presented to us as a lab. After spending the weekend with him however and watching his body language, it became apparent to us that he had boxer in him. He has a boxer type personality. (And a beautiful boxer body and Lab face) When he plays with other boxers (females) they run and play the same). Then we fell in love with him. And have had him ever since: about 3 years.
For three years Gus has been a joy, a love, a playful delight. We have had hours of raw gratefulness that we were given two such incredible treats as these two children. Now as delightful as Gus has been, he is a dog. He could care less about people, but loves to play with dogs. When Polly doesn’t want to play, Gus willingly turns to us, and we have a blast with him. We have hugged, wrestled with, rolled around on the floor with, and probably invaded every inch of “his space”. Without any remote sign that there ever could be a problem. I even reached down once and took a piece of raw animal meat out of his mouth that he was chewing on like an addict sucks on his drug, without even a growl or a dirty look. Some people were afraid of him because his boxer body and strength could knock you over if you were paying attention to where his body was going. But he has always been a delight. He sort of became Rich’s dog and Polly became my dog. However both dogs follow Rich when he is outside and follow me when it is inside time.
From a pure energetic perspective, Gus has been sound asleep in other part of the house and yet senses when I am meditating and about 10 minutes into the journey he seeks me out and puts his paw on my arm or lays down next to me.
Polly looks into your eyes and you know she is connected to you and is speaking to you with her eyes. With Gus that spiritual connection is not in his eyes but always seems to show up when spirit is being honored or communed with.
I am very much connected to my animal totems; which at this time I connect with about 9 of them. Rich is a whisperer type to many animals, dogs, cats, horses and doesn’t believe in killing any of them.
THEN… Wednesday before Thanksgiving after dinner, I reached over (was sitting on the floor next to Gus) and hugged him. He was licking rich’s plate from dinner, and out of the blue he turned and attacked me, with violence. (I can still see in my minds eye the look on his face for that split second before his jaws hit my face). To get him off of me, rich kicked him out of instinct (which is unlike rich’s passive personality) and Gus then turned on him, but only got his shoe. He ripped my cheek to shreds, and ended up in one ER who transferred me to another due to the severity of it, and 100 stitches later, I am home and in totally shock. His shots were up to date so we quarantined him here. I am healing physically with great speed; thee plastics guy was truly impressed. But emotionally I am trying to figure this out.
Gus has changed in all of this. He used to happily bound over to me, wiggling his butt and smiling. Now he sadly strolls over turns around and just sits down next to me, with such sad eyes.
My big melt down was Saturday night after the incident, and I was ready to put the dog down. Rich was not. Then after much discussion he became more open to it, but then I did not feel good about it.
We decided on a plan: Which included:
1. getting the opinion of our holistic vet.
2. getting the opinion of a traditional vet
3. getting the opinion of a trainer or behavioral specialist
4. getting a muzzle for when unexpected company comes
5. to kennel him when the grandchildren come
6. praying and seeking out are own independent wisdom
Then we heard about a healer / pet psychic. http://www.healingwholeself.net/index.htm We decide to start there. She asked us to give her a little history and describe our circumstances, which is where the majority of this blog has come from.
This is what I / we said to her:
From a psychotherapeutic perspective: I love this dog, and can pet him, and walk him and talk to him with love. I am saddened that I do not feel safe with him. Heart wrenching sad that I can’t (won’t) hug him. I can’t figure this out. I was so blindsided. However: I also know I have some responsibility to be sure this never happens again to another animal or another human.
I am also a firm believer in the laws of attraction: And know that I/we attracted this into our life to provide wisdom, growth, and love. I know the universe is blessing us as we speak because we have had this experience. I can be grateful for it, as I simultaneously feel fear. I do not make decisions out of fear; I try to make them out of love.
The Intention of session:
Our consensus together of what we needed from the session was:
1. Some understanding of why he did it? (We want him to feel good and feel safe and us not do again what ever it was that we did to trigger this)
2. Healing for us: Emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually (us meaning Gus, Rich and I)
3. What do we do now? Should we put him down to insure the safety of “others”?
Other relevant miscellaneous information:
Rich and I are a very balanced couple. (True yin and yang) I thought that the majority of this was for my benefit, because I took the biggest hit. But also knew it affected us both tremendously.
My husband is a very old soul who lives in the present moment. His spirituality is subtle (but actually can be more powerful than mine) He is very concrete, and linear. I am very actively participating in my journey and can flip from right to left brain almost to a fault. I do energy work, have been on shamanic journeys and can relate to what you say on your web site. I have believed that prior to this that there were no accidents, only levels of awareness and consciousness. This event has gone to the core of that. What did I miss?
I have never been able to explain to him in language he understands, what channeling is, or even energy work. but believe on many levels that he does it without even knowing it. (He is an old old healer) He is not skeptical about what healers and light workers do, because he has seen so many spiritual miracles come out of situations I present to him (like going to a sweat lodge etc). But he kept asking: “well what is she going to do? Does she give advice, or does she see things or what?” His precious very simplistic mind can not wrap itself around what healing from an energetic perspective is all about. (I really don’t know either but I just trust the process and know that intuitively it’s the right thing to do.)
We both knew there were past traumas related to animals wrapped up in this: (ie: Rich had a dog with his ex wife. Her name was Mission. She was a huge St Bernard. (I have seen pictures of her). He had to put her down because his apartment was too small and the neighbors complained about her. He said: “I will never forgive myself for that.”
We lost a dog to an alligator attack, another beloved dog to heart worm despite being treated, another one hit by a car etc…
We knew the need for healing existed on all levels. Will try to describe in words exactly what happened in our session. But will do that in another message. This message needs to end with the thought that. We are grateful we did not react impulsively. We are grateful we started with a healer. We have decided to keep Gus.
We are grateful for the abundance of prayers and love we have received. We are grateful for the healing of my face. (at the level of a miracle). We are grateful for light workers, and energy healers. We are grateful for the many gifts we have begun to discover as a result of this incident. I still have questions about it… but the fear and anxiety of it has substantially subsided.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Overcoming fear and anxiety
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
So about 2 years ago I was working closely with a shaman to get in touch with myself, my healer, my higher power and my ability to inspire healing.
We did many very cool exercises working with nature and animals that reflected the energy of the Native Americans that I so deeply honor and respect.
Many of the exercise were about developing trust. (Of myself and of my higher power).The last one she asked me to do was go out in the woods by myself and spend 24 hours totally alone. About this time there was a girl killed and a couple missing in the mountains of north Georgia where I was living. There are rattle snakes, and bears and wild cats and wolves and all sorts of unknown phenomenon. Just thinking about it gave me raw fear to the core.
I sort of disconnected myself from the process and went on with my life. But over the months I began to wonder why that was such a difficult process. The Indians did it everyday of their lives. I knew someday I would work through my issues so that I could actually do it.
An opportunity came up a few days ago that allowed me to move towards that end. I was invited back to the mountains of North Georgia and provided a cabin to stay in for the night. Now the cabin is out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods (National forests actually). On the door of the cabin there are claw marks where a bear tried to scratch its way in. Down the hill there is a little deck by a stream that the owner of the cabin (my friend) used to sleep on all the time to commune with nature. On one of those occasions she was confronted by 6 bears wandering in that wilderness.
Initially I was going to just go there by myself and sleep in the cabin as a step closer to my goal. But instead my daughter met me there to have a girly day, and I decided that with her in the cabin, I was going to sleep outdoors, on the deck.
To some of you that might not seem to be that big of a deal, and I actually felt that it would not be for me either. But as it turned out as midnight approached and I went to the deck with my blankets. I became paralyzed with fear. I was overwhelmed by the darkness and the silence. I heard myself say: “I don’t think I can do this”.
I did make some compromise, my daughter slept on the couch with the windows open which was right on the other side of the screens from where I was. And I left a light on upstairs in the loft of the cabin, and lit one candle at the top of the steps of the deck.
Even with that, I was in a state of panic when she went inside and I was left outside alone. I spent an hour or so literally sitting straight up looking around, in a state of freeze, waiting for some evil creature to jump out of no where. I could not get my sympathetic nervous system reversed with parasympathetic nervous system triggers.
Over the next few hours I eased down into a reclining position. (The goal was to actually feel relaxed enough to sleep.) At some point I had to pee. Could have gone inside, but felt that was the easy way; so I eased down the steps of the deck and out into the woods a little bit, and did what every good camper would do.
When I return to the deck I started feeling calmer. And I began to understand my fear to be a lack of trust of me, my spirit and my connection to GOD. I began to pray for everyone who came to mind. And with each prayer I stepped out of my fear and into trust and love.
Not sure of time, but about 4 am or so I think I finally fell asleep. And right before I did, I knew I could have walked down to the lower deck and fallen asleep there. (but I didn’t have a flash light, and knew I still would need that to maneuver through the woods)
My original goal was to actually sleep down there, and listen to the babbling brook. And although I did not do that this time, I now know I could.
One of the visions that got me through this experience was trying to imagine being blind (darkness) and deaf (stillness) and how one could live everyday as if they were in the woods. I realized that what we trust in is an illusion. Being in the dark, forces one to trust their instincts, and trust their higher power completely and unreservedly. There is nothing that we can hear and see that is absolute.
What we know to be true in our soul is safe and when it is connected purely to our source, we are protected.
Now when I woke up, the stars were gone, the sky was lighting up (not quite dawn) and I was able to look out into the woods and see light. And I felt joy, and peace and exhilaration that I overcame a fear.
Of course I ran inside to share my joy with my daughter, (and woke her up), then laid down on the floor and fell sound asleep for 4 hours. (She couldn’t go back to sleep).
Her perspective might add a little to this experience. She said as she laid there, in close proximity to my experience, she could feel all of my fear and could not sleep. When I finally calmed down and relaxed, so could she. It was evidence that our energy does affect those around us. Interestingly enough, she had a plan, if anything was to happen to me. She was ready with the fire extinguisher to annihilate any potential threat. I celebrate her ability to share this experience with me. (Especially sleeping with the windows open without enough blankets to stay warm)
Now, as you react to this story some of you will say, well that certainly was no big deal. But the point of the experience is to face whatever causes you fear, anxiety and overcome it. Sometime we are so busy avoiding things; we don’t even know what would paralyze us with fear. But I can guarantee you that there is something in everyone.
The good treatment for anxiety is exposure therapy (standing in the middle of it and overcoming it). It desensitizes you to whatever it is you fear (real or perceived.) There is a darkness that you avoid. Flying in airplanes, speaking public, driving on freeways, being alone, loosing control and the list goes on. Being connected and true to oneself, and connected to the source allows one to not only face fears but find joy and peace in the midst of them.
So about 2 years ago I was working closely with a shaman to get in touch with myself, my healer, my higher power and my ability to inspire healing.
We did many very cool exercises working with nature and animals that reflected the energy of the Native Americans that I so deeply honor and respect.
Many of the exercise were about developing trust. (Of myself and of my higher power).The last one she asked me to do was go out in the woods by myself and spend 24 hours totally alone. About this time there was a girl killed and a couple missing in the mountains of north Georgia where I was living. There are rattle snakes, and bears and wild cats and wolves and all sorts of unknown phenomenon. Just thinking about it gave me raw fear to the core.
I sort of disconnected myself from the process and went on with my life. But over the months I began to wonder why that was such a difficult process. The Indians did it everyday of their lives. I knew someday I would work through my issues so that I could actually do it.
An opportunity came up a few days ago that allowed me to move towards that end. I was invited back to the mountains of North Georgia and provided a cabin to stay in for the night. Now the cabin is out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods (National forests actually). On the door of the cabin there are claw marks where a bear tried to scratch its way in. Down the hill there is a little deck by a stream that the owner of the cabin (my friend) used to sleep on all the time to commune with nature. On one of those occasions she was confronted by 6 bears wandering in that wilderness.
Initially I was going to just go there by myself and sleep in the cabin as a step closer to my goal. But instead my daughter met me there to have a girly day, and I decided that with her in the cabin, I was going to sleep outdoors, on the deck.
To some of you that might not seem to be that big of a deal, and I actually felt that it would not be for me either. But as it turned out as midnight approached and I went to the deck with my blankets. I became paralyzed with fear. I was overwhelmed by the darkness and the silence. I heard myself say: “I don’t think I can do this”.
I did make some compromise, my daughter slept on the couch with the windows open which was right on the other side of the screens from where I was. And I left a light on upstairs in the loft of the cabin, and lit one candle at the top of the steps of the deck.
Even with that, I was in a state of panic when she went inside and I was left outside alone. I spent an hour or so literally sitting straight up looking around, in a state of freeze, waiting for some evil creature to jump out of no where. I could not get my sympathetic nervous system reversed with parasympathetic nervous system triggers.
Over the next few hours I eased down into a reclining position. (The goal was to actually feel relaxed enough to sleep.) At some point I had to pee. Could have gone inside, but felt that was the easy way; so I eased down the steps of the deck and out into the woods a little bit, and did what every good camper would do.
When I return to the deck I started feeling calmer. And I began to understand my fear to be a lack of trust of me, my spirit and my connection to GOD. I began to pray for everyone who came to mind. And with each prayer I stepped out of my fear and into trust and love.
Not sure of time, but about 4 am or so I think I finally fell asleep. And right before I did, I knew I could have walked down to the lower deck and fallen asleep there. (but I didn’t have a flash light, and knew I still would need that to maneuver through the woods)
My original goal was to actually sleep down there, and listen to the babbling brook. And although I did not do that this time, I now know I could.
One of the visions that got me through this experience was trying to imagine being blind (darkness) and deaf (stillness) and how one could live everyday as if they were in the woods. I realized that what we trust in is an illusion. Being in the dark, forces one to trust their instincts, and trust their higher power completely and unreservedly. There is nothing that we can hear and see that is absolute.
What we know to be true in our soul is safe and when it is connected purely to our source, we are protected.
Now when I woke up, the stars were gone, the sky was lighting up (not quite dawn) and I was able to look out into the woods and see light. And I felt joy, and peace and exhilaration that I overcame a fear.
Of course I ran inside to share my joy with my daughter, (and woke her up), then laid down on the floor and fell sound asleep for 4 hours. (She couldn’t go back to sleep).
Her perspective might add a little to this experience. She said as she laid there, in close proximity to my experience, she could feel all of my fear and could not sleep. When I finally calmed down and relaxed, so could she. It was evidence that our energy does affect those around us. Interestingly enough, she had a plan, if anything was to happen to me. She was ready with the fire extinguisher to annihilate any potential threat. I celebrate her ability to share this experience with me. (Especially sleeping with the windows open without enough blankets to stay warm)
Now, as you react to this story some of you will say, well that certainly was no big deal. But the point of the experience is to face whatever causes you fear, anxiety and overcome it. Sometime we are so busy avoiding things; we don’t even know what would paralyze us with fear. But I can guarantee you that there is something in everyone.
The good treatment for anxiety is exposure therapy (standing in the middle of it and overcoming it). It desensitizes you to whatever it is you fear (real or perceived.) There is a darkness that you avoid. Flying in airplanes, speaking public, driving on freeways, being alone, loosing control and the list goes on. Being connected and true to oneself, and connected to the source allows one to not only face fears but find joy and peace in the midst of them.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Intentions
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
Intentions:
A lot has been written about creating your own reality. That is just a way of saying, you decide if you are going to be happy or not. Many times it is a choice.
I understand that there are chemical imbalances, developmental disorders, illnesses and injury that contribute to depression, anxiety, mood disorders and disorders of thought. But too often it is our choices that trigger the exacerbation of an underlying genetic predisposition. And it is our choices that take a situation and make it worse. And it is our choices that often keep us stuck in negativity and destruction. And it is our choices that impact those chemicals or processes in our bodies.
Intentions are choices we make in how we think. And our intentions contribute greatly to how we feel. Intentions are the map we design to take us on our journeys.
Intentions however are not always conscious. Sometimes intentions cause us to do things that on the surface appear negative, but if you look at the motivation, the true intent is often survival, protection, safety or justice. Many over weight woman find comfort in excessive weight because they might have had their healthy body used or abused. An overweight man may find comfort in food, as a way not to smoke, and many violent individuals are often only trying to get some sense of control in their life.
Whether or not you are aware of why you are doing something, there is always a benefit to a “bad behavior”. Discovering that benefit; is often the only way to change the “bad behavior”. It is usually very uncomfortable to do self examination and look at those reasons, but in becoming aware of them brings about an opportunity to redirect ones choices. New choices, new behaviors bring about new feelings. To promote good feelings there has to be an awareness of our thoughts, and an active participation in our behavioral choices.
There is a specialty in psychology that deals with this: NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) which is all about intentions:
http://lifecoachesblog.com/2006/06/09/nlp-101-every-behaviour-has-a-positive-intention and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_and_negative_(NLP
and
http://www.nlpu.com/Articles/article2.htm
The Spiritual new agers call it manifestation:
http://www.guide-to-self-help-techniques.com/creative-visualization.html
and
http://www.how-to-manifest-your-desires.com/how-to-manifest-reality.html
and
http://www.awakening-spirits.net/7-step-manifestations.htm
And it is even biblical: John 14.13 If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.” , The Jabez prayer in Chronicles and in Matthew 21: 22: "And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.".
At any rate intentions drive outcomes. Let us look at a few: If you repeatedly say “I am stressed out”, you most likely will continue to feel and be stressed out. If however you repeatedly say, “I am relaxed”, you will most likely become aware of the need to relax and begin to change your behaviors so you can relax.
The mind is a power tool of association. It associates feeling “stressed” with many unhealthy things. (Increased heart rate increased blood pressure, increase stress hormone cortisol) It also associates relaxation with a release of endorphins, which is your bodies own pain killer. It is sort of like hearing a certain “golden oldie” and remembering your first kiss and feeling good.
The words (saying them, writing them, hearing them, knowing them, believing them, feeling them) in of themselves do not make changes but the words bring about awareness, and awareness brings about changes in behavior. It is pretty hard to eat junk food while repeating the words, I am nourished and healthy.
Intentions need to be in the present tense as if it were already a fact. That demonstrates to the mind that you believe it. Some of my intentions are: I am prosperous, I am healthy, I am peaceful, I am energetic, I am loved, I am lovable. I am valued, I am useful, I am making a difference, I am generous, and I am attractive.
To get to here, I need to go through a four step process. I need… I want….I love….I am. I made a list of what I needed: Then I went through that list and tried to say I wanted each thing. It sort of puts a spin on it. For example, one of the times I said I need to eat more vegetables. Then when it got to the second step: I couldn’t say “I want to eat more vegetables” So I had to revise my list to say I need to LOVE to eat vegetables. And then you put it into the present tense. And my intent became: I love eating vegetables.
You will not, I will not make any changes till we WANT to. So intending love for a certain behavior is very powerful. But more important than that is the outcome. It’s the why of it. And in this case the intent went to: I am healthy and I am nourished.
It works the opposite way too, if we start out saying: “I want to be rich”, and can’t say “I need to be rich”, you probably won’t ever get to “loving being rich”. But I need to be prosperous, because I need to be generous, and I want to be generous and prosperous, because I love being generous and prosperous. I am generous and I am prosperous.
Here is another one: “I want healing, I need healing, I love being healed, I love healing.” “I am healed” It was hard for me at first to say: “I need healing”. (I kept thinking of all of the other people who needed it more); which brought to light my diminished value. So after I dealt with that, I could actually say it, feel it write it, speak it, know it, believe it, EXPERINCE it. (And I am healed)
“Intentions: will change your “awareness”. They will change your “reality”. And doing intentions with friends is fun. Call up a friend and say? What would you be celebrating right now if life was perfect for you? Get them to put it in a measurable package like: “I am experiencing romance with my husband, I am cashing my first royalty check from my book, I am having fun most of the time, and I am giggling with my grandchildren.” And then periodically call them up again and say: how about those silly grandchildren? How big is that royalty check, how is that good man of yours”
Happiness is just an intention away. Trade in those old thoughts, and create new ones.
Have fun with this, be blessed, and then be super grateful!
Intentions:
A lot has been written about creating your own reality. That is just a way of saying, you decide if you are going to be happy or not. Many times it is a choice.
I understand that there are chemical imbalances, developmental disorders, illnesses and injury that contribute to depression, anxiety, mood disorders and disorders of thought. But too often it is our choices that trigger the exacerbation of an underlying genetic predisposition. And it is our choices that take a situation and make it worse. And it is our choices that often keep us stuck in negativity and destruction. And it is our choices that impact those chemicals or processes in our bodies.
Intentions are choices we make in how we think. And our intentions contribute greatly to how we feel. Intentions are the map we design to take us on our journeys.
Intentions however are not always conscious. Sometimes intentions cause us to do things that on the surface appear negative, but if you look at the motivation, the true intent is often survival, protection, safety or justice. Many over weight woman find comfort in excessive weight because they might have had their healthy body used or abused. An overweight man may find comfort in food, as a way not to smoke, and many violent individuals are often only trying to get some sense of control in their life.
Whether or not you are aware of why you are doing something, there is always a benefit to a “bad behavior”. Discovering that benefit; is often the only way to change the “bad behavior”. It is usually very uncomfortable to do self examination and look at those reasons, but in becoming aware of them brings about an opportunity to redirect ones choices. New choices, new behaviors bring about new feelings. To promote good feelings there has to be an awareness of our thoughts, and an active participation in our behavioral choices.
There is a specialty in psychology that deals with this: NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) which is all about intentions:
http://lifecoachesblog.com/2006/06/09/nlp-101-every-behaviour-has-a-positive-intention and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_and_negative_(NLP
and
http://www.nlpu.com/Articles/article2.htm
The Spiritual new agers call it manifestation:
http://www.guide-to-self-help-techniques.com/creative-visualization.html
and
http://www.how-to-manifest-your-desires.com/how-to-manifest-reality.html
and
http://www.awakening-spirits.net/7-step-manifestations.htm
And it is even biblical: John 14.13 If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.” , The Jabez prayer in Chronicles and in Matthew 21: 22: "And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.".
At any rate intentions drive outcomes. Let us look at a few: If you repeatedly say “I am stressed out”, you most likely will continue to feel and be stressed out. If however you repeatedly say, “I am relaxed”, you will most likely become aware of the need to relax and begin to change your behaviors so you can relax.
The mind is a power tool of association. It associates feeling “stressed” with many unhealthy things. (Increased heart rate increased blood pressure, increase stress hormone cortisol) It also associates relaxation with a release of endorphins, which is your bodies own pain killer. It is sort of like hearing a certain “golden oldie” and remembering your first kiss and feeling good.
The words (saying them, writing them, hearing them, knowing them, believing them, feeling them) in of themselves do not make changes but the words bring about awareness, and awareness brings about changes in behavior. It is pretty hard to eat junk food while repeating the words, I am nourished and healthy.
Intentions need to be in the present tense as if it were already a fact. That demonstrates to the mind that you believe it. Some of my intentions are: I am prosperous, I am healthy, I am peaceful, I am energetic, I am loved, I am lovable. I am valued, I am useful, I am making a difference, I am generous, and I am attractive.
To get to here, I need to go through a four step process. I need… I want….I love….I am. I made a list of what I needed: Then I went through that list and tried to say I wanted each thing. It sort of puts a spin on it. For example, one of the times I said I need to eat more vegetables. Then when it got to the second step: I couldn’t say “I want to eat more vegetables” So I had to revise my list to say I need to LOVE to eat vegetables. And then you put it into the present tense. And my intent became: I love eating vegetables.
You will not, I will not make any changes till we WANT to. So intending love for a certain behavior is very powerful. But more important than that is the outcome. It’s the why of it. And in this case the intent went to: I am healthy and I am nourished.
It works the opposite way too, if we start out saying: “I want to be rich”, and can’t say “I need to be rich”, you probably won’t ever get to “loving being rich”. But I need to be prosperous, because I need to be generous, and I want to be generous and prosperous, because I love being generous and prosperous. I am generous and I am prosperous.
Here is another one: “I want healing, I need healing, I love being healed, I love healing.” “I am healed” It was hard for me at first to say: “I need healing”. (I kept thinking of all of the other people who needed it more); which brought to light my diminished value. So after I dealt with that, I could actually say it, feel it write it, speak it, know it, believe it, EXPERINCE it. (And I am healed)
“Intentions: will change your “awareness”. They will change your “reality”. And doing intentions with friends is fun. Call up a friend and say? What would you be celebrating right now if life was perfect for you? Get them to put it in a measurable package like: “I am experiencing romance with my husband, I am cashing my first royalty check from my book, I am having fun most of the time, and I am giggling with my grandchildren.” And then periodically call them up again and say: how about those silly grandchildren? How big is that royalty check, how is that good man of yours”
Happiness is just an intention away. Trade in those old thoughts, and create new ones.
Have fun with this, be blessed, and then be super grateful!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Avoidance, Pain Relief and Comfort
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
Avoidance, Pain Relief and Comfort.
I believe in effortlessness. It is most likely the most common mantra or intent that I use. When the mind body and spirit are in alliance there is effortlessness. When mind heart and intuition are aligned there is effortlessness. However there is no such thing as nirvana. If I lived in a state of bliss there would be no growth, no movement, no change and ultimately I would get bored and die.
It is sort of like a room full of people all smoking pot and saying: “wow, dude this is amazing.” And it possibly is. However, to remain in the room, means to miss the beauty of the world. And as amazing as that feeling is at that moment, it would become mundane, and at some point one would have to get up and go get more pot, (leave the comfort zone) And would need money, to pay for it and get food and water, and would need to leave that nirvana to bathe and need to fulfill basic requirements of living, So from this overly simplistic image, it becomes apparent that I need a variety of things in life to survive. And to strive to limit my experience to only joy and ecstasy would diminish my human experience.
I find the word balance appropriate here. There needs to be work there needs to be play, there needs to be up for every down, and I need pain as much as I need pleasure. I know in my small little world, that
I would never be able to appreciate tall without short, and big without small and abundance without poverty. Contrast is a mechanism to enhance appreciation.
I was watching a movie about baseball recently where the player was describing the reasons for his current slump. He said “I remember when I loved hitting the ball. Now all of my energy is going into not missing the ball.” His energy was going into avoidance, and not into the pleasure. And when he started to love hitting the ball, and not feeling bad when he missed the ball, he started hitting the ball more often.
If I focus on joy and gratefulness and awareness on the times I am without pain, and embrace and accept the times I have pain then life will have a balance that brings about comfort.
As pleasure oriented as our society is in advertisement and media wise. The pleasure that is offered is actually presented as a mechanism to avoid pain. And it is in this avoidance that I set myself up for more pain.
I have just recently discovered that sitting in my pain, and getting comfortable with my discomfort can bring about change and awareness in such a dramatic way that old patterns are dissolved and growth and new forms of energy patterns created.
The purpose of pain is not to make my life miserable, it is to give me information, If I touch a hot stove, I soon learn not to touch the hot stove again. If I lift an object that is too heavy, and I injure my back, I learn not to do that, or I learn to strengthen my back.
It is the same with emotional or mental or spiritual pain. I learn not to do certain things, or I learn to strengthen that area of my life so that I can do things better. At least that is the way it is suppose to work. But instead I often experience the feeling of pain, and begin to avoid whatever it is that may cause that pain, and alter my behavior so redundantly that same thing keeps resurfacing over and over again.
If an issue is arising, and I am either repeating the same cycle over and over again, or if I get stuck in a cycle of pain, I am learning that it may be because there is a piece of information I am neglecting to embrace. Pain is there to give us information. (There is a new wave of thinking that suggests that avoidance may be a contributor to illness and dysfunction.) But that has to be balanced with avoiding what will hurt you, but not necessarily avoiding the discomfort that will show you what is hurting you. You keep exposing yourself to the hot stove, to the toxic influence. You will get damaged. Even if you keep avoiding the feeling of the pain by numbing it.
Someone once said to me: “Think about what it would be like if you were no longer afraid of pain, no longer afraid of discomfort, no longer afraid of confrontation. How would your life change if you embraced, and believed that each one of those difficult experiences held for you a gem of resolution and joy.?”
I have been challenged recently with this journey. I continue to believe in effortlessness. But I also know that when it stops being effortless it is usually is because I have started down a wrong path. Or it is because I am moving too fast to even notice my path. My new goal is to listen when it gets uncomfortable. (find that piece of information the situation is trying to give to me) And say: “ok you have my attention, I am listening, speak to me.” And it means listening to that information, even when it is not initially clear..
So I simply say: “OK I hear ya” When I listen, and redirect my path or find the gem, the effortlessness usually returns.
I do think it is ok, to have a place of comfort. (Like going home.) But if I stay in that place of comfort all of the time, I miss so many of the clues. I need to move forward.
Obviously just as I need to avoid touching a hot stove to prevent pain and injury. I need to avoid things that cause damaging pain. Our society however often promotes an environment where it is acceptable to be exposed to pain. Then it supports permission to repress, deny ignore or medicate the pain. Because of that cultural attitude I am influenced to continue be exposed to things that will cause pain.
I have patients asking me for little white nerve pills all of the time, so that they can stay in bad marriages, stay in bad jobs, and stay in situations that if they would only leave, they probably wouldn’t need that little white pill. I have patients who ask me for pain pills, but really aren’t interested in healing. Nerve pills and pain pills and analgesic of any kind, in my opinion, are short term solutions and can greatly facilitate healing. But in the absence of healing efforts. Only promote long term avoidance.
Physical pain, in my opinion is a symbolic representation of spiritual injury. Very real, very legitimate, but often unrelieved without simultaneously examining the issues that predisposed one to the injury or illness.
I also think a lot pain that we experience has big picture implications. So much of my painful periods in my life has allowed me to be more understanding and empathetic to my current clients. “I used to beat myself up for not being able to get rid of the pain of injury symptoms. I kept thinking that if I just thought right, felt right and behaved right I would be healed. I think that is possible, and part of the process, but the timing of such changes often has to do with the long term lessons. Like learning persistence, like finding cures, like developing stamina, like trusting in the unknown, (like big picture purposes or even karmic balance.)
Being in pain allows me sometimes to slow down, feel sorry for myself and be nurtured by others. (feeling sorry for ones self not being a bad thing, but something we need to do often, and has therapeutic benefit.) (Feeling sorry for myself is useful when nurturing and self care has been compromised.)
So I am looking at contrast at this time in my life, and as I get comfortable in discomfort, the gems seems to surface more quickly, the discomfort turns to joy, and the joy and the discomfort become one. And effortlessness even in change and chaos become peaceful.
Today I might be down, but tomorrow I might be up. Today I might be full, tomorrow I might be hungry.
Today I may be needy, tomorrow I may be satisfied. Today I may be connected, tomorrow I may be alone. I think it is all good, and it is ALL AS IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE. Effortlessly balanced and moving forward.
PS how this translates into real life;
I am leaving a job I was comfortable in (because my intuition said to, and when I said to myself: “no I am not leaving” the job got uncomfortable)
I am taking a job that is actually outside my comfort zone, because it is what I need to do to go to the next level professionally.
I am loosing weight because I stopped eating to ease distress, but started to eat to nourish.
I am feeling healthier because I am exercising and moving even though at times it is uncomfortable to do so, It is all good, and it is ALL AS IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE. Effortlessly balanced and moving forward.
Avoidance, Pain Relief and Comfort.
I believe in effortlessness. It is most likely the most common mantra or intent that I use. When the mind body and spirit are in alliance there is effortlessness. When mind heart and intuition are aligned there is effortlessness. However there is no such thing as nirvana. If I lived in a state of bliss there would be no growth, no movement, no change and ultimately I would get bored and die.
It is sort of like a room full of people all smoking pot and saying: “wow, dude this is amazing.” And it possibly is. However, to remain in the room, means to miss the beauty of the world. And as amazing as that feeling is at that moment, it would become mundane, and at some point one would have to get up and go get more pot, (leave the comfort zone) And would need money, to pay for it and get food and water, and would need to leave that nirvana to bathe and need to fulfill basic requirements of living, So from this overly simplistic image, it becomes apparent that I need a variety of things in life to survive. And to strive to limit my experience to only joy and ecstasy would diminish my human experience.
I find the word balance appropriate here. There needs to be work there needs to be play, there needs to be up for every down, and I need pain as much as I need pleasure. I know in my small little world, that
I would never be able to appreciate tall without short, and big without small and abundance without poverty. Contrast is a mechanism to enhance appreciation.
I was watching a movie about baseball recently where the player was describing the reasons for his current slump. He said “I remember when I loved hitting the ball. Now all of my energy is going into not missing the ball.” His energy was going into avoidance, and not into the pleasure. And when he started to love hitting the ball, and not feeling bad when he missed the ball, he started hitting the ball more often.
If I focus on joy and gratefulness and awareness on the times I am without pain, and embrace and accept the times I have pain then life will have a balance that brings about comfort.
As pleasure oriented as our society is in advertisement and media wise. The pleasure that is offered is actually presented as a mechanism to avoid pain. And it is in this avoidance that I set myself up for more pain.
I have just recently discovered that sitting in my pain, and getting comfortable with my discomfort can bring about change and awareness in such a dramatic way that old patterns are dissolved and growth and new forms of energy patterns created.
The purpose of pain is not to make my life miserable, it is to give me information, If I touch a hot stove, I soon learn not to touch the hot stove again. If I lift an object that is too heavy, and I injure my back, I learn not to do that, or I learn to strengthen my back.
It is the same with emotional or mental or spiritual pain. I learn not to do certain things, or I learn to strengthen that area of my life so that I can do things better. At least that is the way it is suppose to work. But instead I often experience the feeling of pain, and begin to avoid whatever it is that may cause that pain, and alter my behavior so redundantly that same thing keeps resurfacing over and over again.
If an issue is arising, and I am either repeating the same cycle over and over again, or if I get stuck in a cycle of pain, I am learning that it may be because there is a piece of information I am neglecting to embrace. Pain is there to give us information. (There is a new wave of thinking that suggests that avoidance may be a contributor to illness and dysfunction.) But that has to be balanced with avoiding what will hurt you, but not necessarily avoiding the discomfort that will show you what is hurting you. You keep exposing yourself to the hot stove, to the toxic influence. You will get damaged. Even if you keep avoiding the feeling of the pain by numbing it.
Someone once said to me: “Think about what it would be like if you were no longer afraid of pain, no longer afraid of discomfort, no longer afraid of confrontation. How would your life change if you embraced, and believed that each one of those difficult experiences held for you a gem of resolution and joy.?”
I have been challenged recently with this journey. I continue to believe in effortlessness. But I also know that when it stops being effortless it is usually is because I have started down a wrong path. Or it is because I am moving too fast to even notice my path. My new goal is to listen when it gets uncomfortable. (find that piece of information the situation is trying to give to me) And say: “ok you have my attention, I am listening, speak to me.” And it means listening to that information, even when it is not initially clear..
So I simply say: “OK I hear ya” When I listen, and redirect my path or find the gem, the effortlessness usually returns.
I do think it is ok, to have a place of comfort. (Like going home.) But if I stay in that place of comfort all of the time, I miss so many of the clues. I need to move forward.
Obviously just as I need to avoid touching a hot stove to prevent pain and injury. I need to avoid things that cause damaging pain. Our society however often promotes an environment where it is acceptable to be exposed to pain. Then it supports permission to repress, deny ignore or medicate the pain. Because of that cultural attitude I am influenced to continue be exposed to things that will cause pain.
I have patients asking me for little white nerve pills all of the time, so that they can stay in bad marriages, stay in bad jobs, and stay in situations that if they would only leave, they probably wouldn’t need that little white pill. I have patients who ask me for pain pills, but really aren’t interested in healing. Nerve pills and pain pills and analgesic of any kind, in my opinion, are short term solutions and can greatly facilitate healing. But in the absence of healing efforts. Only promote long term avoidance.
Physical pain, in my opinion is a symbolic representation of spiritual injury. Very real, very legitimate, but often unrelieved without simultaneously examining the issues that predisposed one to the injury or illness.
I also think a lot pain that we experience has big picture implications. So much of my painful periods in my life has allowed me to be more understanding and empathetic to my current clients. “I used to beat myself up for not being able to get rid of the pain of injury symptoms. I kept thinking that if I just thought right, felt right and behaved right I would be healed. I think that is possible, and part of the process, but the timing of such changes often has to do with the long term lessons. Like learning persistence, like finding cures, like developing stamina, like trusting in the unknown, (like big picture purposes or even karmic balance.)
Being in pain allows me sometimes to slow down, feel sorry for myself and be nurtured by others. (feeling sorry for ones self not being a bad thing, but something we need to do often, and has therapeutic benefit.) (Feeling sorry for myself is useful when nurturing and self care has been compromised.)
So I am looking at contrast at this time in my life, and as I get comfortable in discomfort, the gems seems to surface more quickly, the discomfort turns to joy, and the joy and the discomfort become one. And effortlessness even in change and chaos become peaceful.
Today I might be down, but tomorrow I might be up. Today I might be full, tomorrow I might be hungry.
Today I may be needy, tomorrow I may be satisfied. Today I may be connected, tomorrow I may be alone. I think it is all good, and it is ALL AS IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE. Effortlessly balanced and moving forward.
PS how this translates into real life;
I am leaving a job I was comfortable in (because my intuition said to, and when I said to myself: “no I am not leaving” the job got uncomfortable)
I am taking a job that is actually outside my comfort zone, because it is what I need to do to go to the next level professionally.
I am loosing weight because I stopped eating to ease distress, but started to eat to nourish.
I am feeling healthier because I am exercising and moving even though at times it is uncomfortable to do so, It is all good, and it is ALL AS IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE. Effortlessly balanced and moving forward.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
changing jobs: all is as it is suppose to be
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
All is not always as you think it is, but it is always exactly as it is suppose to be.
All is not always as you think it is, but it is always exactly as it is suppose to be.
Very often our instincts tell us that something is wrong. Trust that. ALWAYS trust that. What you can not always trust is your heart and your head. They will both lie to you.
The most optimal circumstance is when your heart and your head and your gut feeling all align. That is a pretty powerful state of being; and one to be sought after.
What does that all mean? I recently was feeling like I needed to leave my current job. My gut was saying go, run, leave. But my head was so looking for the reason. I began to find things that would give me a reason to leave. It almost felt like I was fabricating them. I had people around me saying, yep, you are right, things aren’t right here, and you need to move on.. Yet my heart did not want to leave; and every time I thought I had it figured out, something would come along and just screw up my thoughts and my plan.
My head started to play tricks on me. I started to feel like a failure, and a coward for running from a difficult situation. And I at times felt responsible for the chaos there. And then
I would get into my spiritual “mode” and go into work like I was on a mission to save the world. I would tell myself that there is no place so negative, so dark that I could not bring light to it. And every day I would wake up determined to stay energized and positive throughout the day no matter how difficult it was. (And driving home exhausted)
I would get into my spiritual “mode” and go into work like I was on a mission to save the world. I would tell myself that there is no place so negative, so dark that I could not bring light to it. And every day I would wake up determined to stay energized and positive throughout the day no matter how difficult it was. (And driving home exhausted)
Battle lines were drawn, and droves of people came out to say… do it…quit, get out of there! And just as many came forth to say please stay we need you here. I was so confused.
Now in the midst of this surfaced several different job offers. One of them making me an offer of $23,000.00 more than I was currently making. (And my brain kept saying “that’s a no brainer”) yet I continued to struggle.
There were people involved, and circumstances, and system failures. And I could today make you a list of all of the reasons why I finally chose to leave. But in reality it has nothing to do with any of those things. My perception allowed me to zoom in those things to simply help me make a decision. I needed to go, for no other reason except it was time to go and I just needed to leave.
There was emotion involved, and feelings got hurt. And perceptions were different. Each of those were used to help get from point A to point B. And the truth probably lies somewhere else. So I came to realize that I did not leave, for any of those reasons except it was time to go. What I was suppose to do there was complete.
There was emotion involved, and feelings got hurt. And perceptions were different. Each of those were used to help get from point A to point B. And the truth probably lies somewhere else. So I came to realize that I did not leave, for any of those reasons except it was time to go. What I was suppose to do there was complete.
Some of the things I learned through this experience are:
If you ask, the universe it will answer. I kept saying show me why I am leaving, and it showed me. Sometimes very painfully. But I was very clear the day I made my final decision.
If you wait, and give it time, you will know. I kept having these momentary feelings of, ok I need to go here, or there, or somewhere else, or stay. They were energizing feelings, because they felt like I was moving forward. But all it was: was adrenaline, and that good feeling would leave as soon as I would slow down and get quiet.
If you ask, the universe it will answer. I kept saying show me why I am leaving, and it showed me. Sometimes very painfully. But I was very clear the day I made my final decision.
If you wait, and give it time, you will know. I kept having these momentary feelings of, ok I need to go here, or there, or somewhere else, or stay. They were energizing feelings, because they felt like I was moving forward. But all it was: was adrenaline, and that good feeling would leave as soon as I would slow down and get quiet.
Adrenaline can give you a false sense of energy. But if you loose that when you slow down, its an illusion, or worse yet if you can never slow down and be still and get quiet. You can be pretty sure you are running from something.
There is also a place of complacency that looks a lot like peace, but in reality it is human compromise. I saw much complacency around me, and thought it was peacefulness, and wondered why I did not have any of it. Being still is incredible, but to stay still, without movement for LONG periods of time is certain death.
There are no wrong decisions. If I had decided to stay it would have been the right decision, but I decided to go, so it is the right decision, Several times I would try on a decision, as if I was making it, and then begin to proceed with its implementation. (cautiously) and if things started going awry, I would back up to the last point in the journey I felt peaceful and try again. If it kept going wrong, I would know undoubtedly that I needed to go in a different direction.
Knowing you are doing the right thing provides a feeling of energy, and peacefulness. And it is usually effortlessly.
If you are moving in the right direction it will not drain you (effort) it will energize you and give you peace.
The place I am leaving, is not a bad place. In fact it is a pretty marvelous place, that does an outstanding job of what it is trying to do. It is not what I need to do, but that does not make it better or worse than who I am, it just makes it different. In order to get me headed in the right direction, I needed to perceive it to be a negative place temporarily. But now that I am on my way to a new place, my perception of the old place has returned to good.
So things are not what they seem. And they are. Every person, every situation is both good and bad simultaneously. (although I really do not believe in bad, only light and dark and positive and negative.)
I caused turmoil and chaos at that job, and participated in alchemy. And I also brought light and healing and change . I felt sadness, and anger and joy and love. It is all as it is suppose to be.
And lastly, and most important is what I learned about the voice of my body. If you are headed down a wrong path or at a crossroads in life, your body will speak to you first. Fatigue, unhealthy behaviors, obesity, poor self care, poor concentration, social isolation are red flags that something is wrong. Now that I have made my decision, and know it’s the right decision, because I am energetic, peaceful, I am eating right, exercising, and feel like I am healing. I can meditate again, and I feel like being around people. And I am moving, mindfully, and peacefully.
And no I did not take that lucrative job, but instead one that would challenge me and create a sense of passion and desire to get up and go to work. (my heart) Now my head wouldn’t let me go backwards financially, So I am going to be making more money, but making more money in a peaceful energetic circumstance. It all fell into place. And am grateful for every difficult moment I have had in the last 4 months.
My head and my heart now are in alliance with my gut feeling. And all is as it is suppose to be.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Turning TAR into STARs
A few weeks ago I had a little "Ta Da" moment which I tried to capture in words. When I emailed it to many of my friends and family. Several people wrote back and said you need to have a blog so you can share this with everyone, or put this on your web site, but this should be shared. It was this motivation that I decided to over come my fears and ignorance of the computer and create this blog. Here is the article:
Transforming TAR into a STAR…
Do you ever feel stuck and dirty, you know you have some purpose and function, but you do not like what it is at that moment? It is almost like you are covered with TAR. Recently I was in one of those places; stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck…and did I say stuck?
Well I reached out to the universe and said. I need some help: and through a series of events, I was led through a very dark place into the light. I transformed my TAR feeling into that of light (star) feeling. I identified a whole list of things that were wrong. (A very long list) But it really boiled down to three basic things:
TIME, AVOIDANCE, and REACTIVITY. TAR
Reactivity is what happens when something happens and we react to it. It usually brings with it a physiological response. (Heart rate, hunger, fatigue, anger, anxiety, fear, racing thoughts, shallow breathing, muscle tension, and on and on) Some of the reactivity is a feeling of being out of control, or at least feeling of being out of control. It is a feeling of having a button pushed, helpless, and irritable. It is an awful feeling, and we just want it to go away. There is no one in their right mind who would ever want to stay in that feeling, but it seems as if no matter what we do, it won’t go away.
Now if you are receiving this, I know for a fact that you know exactly what I am talking about. And each of you and me has different ways of soothing that reactivity, but it is a natural drive of human nature to make it go away. I shut down, go into a cave, or run. (Think about it: is that not fight or flight or freeze?) (The hallmarks of trauma responses) AND because few of us are comfortable with that hyper vigilance, we immediately or eventually enter into avoidance.
Avoidance is all that we do to avoid the feelings of discomfort, thinking for some idiotic moment that feelings of discomfort are bad and should be avoided at all cost. There is some new thinking and data that says, avoidance is the most common trigger of depression or anxiety. We get depressed because we are avoiding change, or avoiding resolution, or avoiding closure. Avoidance is exhausting, and probably more exhausting than the reactivity.
How would life change for you or for me, if instead of avoiding things we felt them, confronted them and healed them, with CHANGE? “Me thinks” that feeling them, sitting in them and learning from them would bring about better outcomes. “Me thinks” that looking at discomfort, and feeling it as a positive experience would change our awareness significantly. “Me thinks” that uncomfortable feelings are a gift, and opportunity to release. Conflict and chaos are brought into our lives to help us see in a mirror more accurately our own issues. Chaos is NEVER about what is going on around us or to us but is an indication that there is something inside of ourselves that we are avoiding.
When we stop avoiding, the chaos stops. The pain often rises up. But then goes off as a celebration that it is finally allowed to be released. Now I also know that if you are receiving this, you know this, and have experienced this, and are grateful for this reminder.
So then what is the problem? The problem is time. We want it now, yesterday, immediately. And if that does not happen; we immediately begin to doubt, to distrust, and the running and hiding and fighting return. Time: man’s number one enemy, it seems. So we go in circles: chasing our tails until we drop in our tracks, screaming, exhausted, and then we lay quiet as if dead.
And the HEALING begins.
The STAR: Silence, Trust, Awareness, Relaxation
Getting still and quiet and comfortable with silence is the beginning of the transformation. Getting quiet and listening to what our body is telling us, will restore and redirect our energy from dark to light. Shutting down the mind and simply “feeling” is an open door to knowing. Knowing does not come from our brain, it comes from a place way down deep inside of ourselves that generates our feelings as a way to communicate to the human we are.
Feelings are simply the body’s reaction to thoughts and people and situations and life. They are there to be honored and listened to and acted upon or released. Feelings sometimes just need to be noticed and released, but other times when they becoming annoying and disturbing they need to be acted upon. But in either case feelings are about becoming aware of what we know either consciously or unconsciously. Once we become aware, we will always know what to do; to release or act upon. Awareness is an intuition. It is a feeling of clarity, peacefulness even in the midst of chaos.
It will give you a sense of “I know what I need to do”. BUT, we still don’t do it at times because we are not TRUSTING. Now there is a scary phenomenon: TRUST….or is it? Trust like time is the key to the kingdom. Trusting it is all good, it is happening as a gift, and that all things in this life are generated by love has at its roots a monumental connection to oneself, ones higher power and ones purpose. Trusting that I deserve the very best, trusting that I am manifesting an incredible journey, and trusting that all is as it is supposed to be. Trusting that even in the sacrifices there is joy. Trusting that I am never alone and that I am connected to all things and all people and trusting that I can and AM making a difference.
Once I find this trust, and this quiet, I can relax and all things become effortless, and the chaos leaves. I do not have to worry, or fear and fret. I can instead, explore, and experience fully every moment. I can relax and play and laugh and sing and dance and love and give and ….well you know, the possibilities are endless….and that makes hope, and joy, and pleasure, and it creates tribes, and moments of absolute beauty when you look up and all you see is the stars because the clouds have lifted, the air is clear, and all is right with the world.
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
Transforming TAR into a STAR…
Do you ever feel stuck and dirty, you know you have some purpose and function, but you do not like what it is at that moment? It is almost like you are covered with TAR. Recently I was in one of those places; stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck…and did I say stuck?
Well I reached out to the universe and said. I need some help: and through a series of events, I was led through a very dark place into the light. I transformed my TAR feeling into that of light (star) feeling. I identified a whole list of things that were wrong. (A very long list) But it really boiled down to three basic things:
TIME, AVOIDANCE, and REACTIVITY. TAR
Reactivity is what happens when something happens and we react to it. It usually brings with it a physiological response. (Heart rate, hunger, fatigue, anger, anxiety, fear, racing thoughts, shallow breathing, muscle tension, and on and on) Some of the reactivity is a feeling of being out of control, or at least feeling of being out of control. It is a feeling of having a button pushed, helpless, and irritable. It is an awful feeling, and we just want it to go away. There is no one in their right mind who would ever want to stay in that feeling, but it seems as if no matter what we do, it won’t go away.
Now if you are receiving this, I know for a fact that you know exactly what I am talking about. And each of you and me has different ways of soothing that reactivity, but it is a natural drive of human nature to make it go away. I shut down, go into a cave, or run. (Think about it: is that not fight or flight or freeze?) (The hallmarks of trauma responses) AND because few of us are comfortable with that hyper vigilance, we immediately or eventually enter into avoidance.
Avoidance is all that we do to avoid the feelings of discomfort, thinking for some idiotic moment that feelings of discomfort are bad and should be avoided at all cost. There is some new thinking and data that says, avoidance is the most common trigger of depression or anxiety. We get depressed because we are avoiding change, or avoiding resolution, or avoiding closure. Avoidance is exhausting, and probably more exhausting than the reactivity.
How would life change for you or for me, if instead of avoiding things we felt them, confronted them and healed them, with CHANGE? “Me thinks” that feeling them, sitting in them and learning from them would bring about better outcomes. “Me thinks” that looking at discomfort, and feeling it as a positive experience would change our awareness significantly. “Me thinks” that uncomfortable feelings are a gift, and opportunity to release. Conflict and chaos are brought into our lives to help us see in a mirror more accurately our own issues. Chaos is NEVER about what is going on around us or to us but is an indication that there is something inside of ourselves that we are avoiding.
When we stop avoiding, the chaos stops. The pain often rises up. But then goes off as a celebration that it is finally allowed to be released. Now I also know that if you are receiving this, you know this, and have experienced this, and are grateful for this reminder.
So then what is the problem? The problem is time. We want it now, yesterday, immediately. And if that does not happen; we immediately begin to doubt, to distrust, and the running and hiding and fighting return. Time: man’s number one enemy, it seems. So we go in circles: chasing our tails until we drop in our tracks, screaming, exhausted, and then we lay quiet as if dead.
And the HEALING begins.
The STAR: Silence, Trust, Awareness, Relaxation
Getting still and quiet and comfortable with silence is the beginning of the transformation. Getting quiet and listening to what our body is telling us, will restore and redirect our energy from dark to light. Shutting down the mind and simply “feeling” is an open door to knowing. Knowing does not come from our brain, it comes from a place way down deep inside of ourselves that generates our feelings as a way to communicate to the human we are.
Feelings are simply the body’s reaction to thoughts and people and situations and life. They are there to be honored and listened to and acted upon or released. Feelings sometimes just need to be noticed and released, but other times when they becoming annoying and disturbing they need to be acted upon. But in either case feelings are about becoming aware of what we know either consciously or unconsciously. Once we become aware, we will always know what to do; to release or act upon. Awareness is an intuition. It is a feeling of clarity, peacefulness even in the midst of chaos.
It will give you a sense of “I know what I need to do”. BUT, we still don’t do it at times because we are not TRUSTING. Now there is a scary phenomenon: TRUST….or is it? Trust like time is the key to the kingdom. Trusting it is all good, it is happening as a gift, and that all things in this life are generated by love has at its roots a monumental connection to oneself, ones higher power and ones purpose. Trusting that I deserve the very best, trusting that I am manifesting an incredible journey, and trusting that all is as it is supposed to be. Trusting that even in the sacrifices there is joy. Trusting that I am never alone and that I am connected to all things and all people and trusting that I can and AM making a difference.
Once I find this trust, and this quiet, I can relax and all things become effortless, and the chaos leaves. I do not have to worry, or fear and fret. I can instead, explore, and experience fully every moment. I can relax and play and laugh and sing and dance and love and give and ….well you know, the possibilities are endless….and that makes hope, and joy, and pleasure, and it creates tribes, and moments of absolute beauty when you look up and all you see is the stars because the clouds have lifted, the air is clear, and all is right with the world.
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
First Blog
One of my favorite phrases is: Its the secrets that will kill you. I teach my patients, and my clients that the more they release, the more they will heal. But yet I seem to keep so much inside of me. I remember the first time I read a blog of someone close to me, and about had a panic attack. I knew I coculd never be that open and honest. "What would people think?"
Then as the universe does so often, it uses those moments of discomfort, to bring awareness into our life. I became aware, in the next few weeks, the amount of fear I live with, and hide behind. Me the healer, a woman who has zip lined, and jumped out of a perfectly good airplane at 10,000 feet, lived behind a veil of fear. So because of the doors that blog open to me, I am now stepping out of my fear, and allowing whoever is drawn to this site, an oportunity to witness, not just my overt courageous accomplishments, but my vulnerabilities and my day to day struggles.
No more secrets, No more fear..... At least for today and for this moment.
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
Then as the universe does so often, it uses those moments of discomfort, to bring awareness into our life. I became aware, in the next few weeks, the amount of fear I live with, and hide behind. Me the healer, a woman who has zip lined, and jumped out of a perfectly good airplane at 10,000 feet, lived behind a veil of fear. So because of the doors that blog open to me, I am now stepping out of my fear, and allowing whoever is drawn to this site, an oportunity to witness, not just my overt courageous accomplishments, but my vulnerabilities and my day to day struggles.
No more secrets, No more fear..... At least for today and for this moment.
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
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