Sunday, August 24, 2008

Turning TAR into STARs

A few weeks ago I had a little "Ta Da" moment which I tried to capture in words. When I emailed it to many of my friends and family. Several people wrote back and said you need to have a blog so you can share this with everyone, or put this on your web site, but this should be shared. It was this motivation that I decided to over come my fears and ignorance of the computer and create this blog. Here is the article:
Transforming TAR into a STAR…

Do you ever feel stuck and dirty, you know you have some purpose and function, but you do not like what it is at that moment? It is almost like you are covered with TAR. Recently I was in one of those places; stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck…and did I say stuck?

Well I reached out to the universe and said. I need some help: and through a series of events, I was led through a very dark place into the light. I transformed my TAR feeling into that of light (star) feeling. I identified a whole list of things that were wrong. (A very long list) But it really boiled down to three basic things:

TIME, AVOIDANCE, and REACTIVITY. TAR

Reactivity is what happens when something happens and we react to it. It usually brings with it a physiological response. (Heart rate, hunger, fatigue, anger, anxiety, fear, racing thoughts, shallow breathing, muscle tension, and on and on) Some of the reactivity is a feeling of being out of control, or at least feeling of being out of control. It is a feeling of having a button pushed, helpless, and irritable. It is an awful feeling, and we just want it to go away. There is no one in their right mind who would ever want to stay in that feeling, but it seems as if no matter what we do, it won’t go away.

Now if you are receiving this, I know for a fact that you know exactly what I am talking about. And each of you and me has different ways of soothing that reactivity, but it is a natural drive of human nature to make it go away. I shut down, go into a cave, or run. (Think about it: is that not fight or flight or freeze?) (The hallmarks of trauma responses) AND because few of us are comfortable with that hyper vigilance, we immediately or eventually enter into avoidance.

Avoidance is all that we do to avoid the feelings of discomfort, thinking for some idiotic moment that feelings of discomfort are bad and should be avoided at all cost. There is some new thinking and data that says, avoidance is the most common trigger of depression or anxiety. We get depressed because we are avoiding change, or avoiding resolution, or avoiding closure. Avoidance is exhausting, and probably more exhausting than the reactivity.

How would life change for you or for me, if instead of avoiding things we felt them, confronted them and healed them, with CHANGE? “Me thinks” that feeling them, sitting in them and learning from them would bring about better outcomes. “Me thinks” that looking at discomfort, and feeling it as a positive experience would change our awareness significantly. “Me thinks” that uncomfortable feelings are a gift, and opportunity to release. Conflict and chaos are brought into our lives to help us see in a mirror more accurately our own issues. Chaos is NEVER about what is going on around us or to us but is an indication that there is something inside of ourselves that we are avoiding.
When we stop avoiding, the chaos stops. The pain often rises up. But then goes off as a celebration that it is finally allowed to be released. Now I also know that if you are receiving this, you know this, and have experienced this, and are grateful for this reminder.

So then what is the problem? The problem is time. We want it now, yesterday, immediately. And if that does not happen; we immediately begin to doubt, to distrust, and the running and hiding and fighting return. Time: man’s number one enemy, it seems. So we go in circles: chasing our tails until we drop in our tracks, screaming, exhausted, and then we lay quiet as if dead.

And the HEALING begins.

The STAR: Silence, Trust, Awareness, Relaxation

Getting still and quiet and comfortable with silence is the beginning of the transformation. Getting quiet and listening to what our body is telling us, will restore and redirect our energy from dark to light. Shutting down the mind and simply “feeling” is an open door to knowing. Knowing does not come from our brain, it comes from a place way down deep inside of ourselves that generates our feelings as a way to communicate to the human we are.

Feelings are simply the body’s reaction to thoughts and people and situations and life. They are there to be honored and listened to and acted upon or released. Feelings sometimes just need to be noticed and released, but other times when they becoming annoying and disturbing they need to be acted upon. But in either case feelings are about becoming aware of what we know either consciously or unconsciously. Once we become aware, we will always know what to do; to release or act upon. Awareness is an intuition. It is a feeling of clarity, peacefulness even in the midst of chaos.

It will give you a sense of “I know what I need to do”. BUT, we still don’t do it at times because we are not TRUSTING. Now there is a scary phenomenon: TRUST….or is it? Trust like time is the key to the kingdom. Trusting it is all good, it is happening as a gift, and that all things in this life are generated by love has at its roots a monumental connection to oneself, ones higher power and ones purpose. Trusting that I deserve the very best, trusting that I am manifesting an incredible journey, and trusting that all is as it is supposed to be. Trusting that even in the sacrifices there is joy. Trusting that I am never alone and that I am connected to all things and all people and trusting that I can and AM making a difference.

Once I find this trust, and this quiet, I can relax and all things become effortless, and the chaos leaves. I do not have to worry, or fear and fret. I can instead, explore, and experience fully every moment. I can relax and play and laugh and sing and dance and love and give and ….well you know, the possibilities are endless….and that makes hope, and joy, and pleasure, and it creates tribes, and moments of absolute beauty when you look up and all you see is the stars because the clouds have lifted, the air is clear, and all is right with the world.


These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

First Blog

One of my favorite phrases is: Its the secrets that will kill you. I teach my patients, and my clients that the more they release, the more they will heal. But yet I seem to keep so much inside of me. I remember the first time I read a blog of someone close to me, and about had a panic attack. I knew I coculd never be that open and honest. "What would people think?"

Then as the universe does so often, it uses those moments of discomfort, to bring awareness into our life. I became aware, in the next few weeks, the amount of fear I live with, and hide behind. Me the healer, a woman who has zip lined, and jumped out of a perfectly good airplane at 10,000 feet, lived behind a veil of fear. So because of the doors that blog open to me, I am now stepping out of my fear, and allowing whoever is drawn to this site, an oportunity to witness, not just my overt courageous accomplishments, but my vulnerabilities and my day to day struggles.

No more secrets, No more fear..... At least for today and for this moment.


These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake