Sunday, July 25, 2010

Flipping the coin

These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake

Recently I attended this incredible family reunion. This family had not been together in about 15 years. Over half the attendees had not met before. (New spouses, new children etc) There were about 50 people there. It was a two day blast. I am still smiling looking at the over 800 pictures that were taken between everyone.

Right before the reunion the senior most member of our genetic tribe crossed over to the other side; which meant that myself, and my four older siblings were now the senior generation of this group.

So to celebrate this transition: At the reunion, we each took a turn sharing wisdom with the younger generation.

My Sister Virginia: the oldest, spoke about the cost of freedom, patriotism, speaking wisely and embracing opportunities.

My brother Myrle made reference to the ingredients of a family being more than just people being biologically related, and wanted to welcome all into the family, and acknowledging those that were not there.

Sandy shared some basic wisdom like: Live each day to its fullest – it may be your last.
If you can’t say something nice about someone – keep your mouth shut. Plan for a rainy day – it will happen. Life is not always fair – so suck it up and get over it. The words “please” and “thank you” are never out of date. Treat others how you want to be treated – with dignity, respect, and honesty. Keep a smile on your face and a sense of humor about you. Give more than you expect to receive. Don’t let your mind stagnate – learn something new each day. Take care of your body – eat well, exercise, and don’t abuse it.
And MOST of all LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY!!!

Joan suggested we all look to our past and examine the legacy that has been left us. She acknowledged that what we think is wisdom as a child changes over time, and that most of us return to our roots as we get older; And how that wisdom of our parents has given her grace and peace as she ages.

And me? Well that’s the purpose of today’s blog: Here is what I said after having given everyone a penny:
“Take the penny and just place it down with whichever side up you want. Some were tails, and some were heads. She asked them to turn it over. And all in the group confirmed that each coin has two sides, a heads and a tails. And when one side is up, it does not make the other disappear. The focus however is only on what is seen.
Life is the same way. Every situation can be positive or negative. And most situations have the potential to be both. The wisdom I would like to share is that we all have a choice to flip our coin when ever we want to.
When something bad happens sad, traumatic, painful or destructive: it is exactly that. And compassion abounds freely for that.
However in every one of those circumstances there is a gift; and there is a way to flip the coin and take something awful and turn it into something good. It does not make the awful go away… it just puts the energy and focus on the good.
The wisdom of 13 years of dealing with people’s pain and trauma is that in EVERY single life event there is a gift.
Flipping the coin….. and finding the gift is often is what life is all about. Reaching down and finding the gratefulness for the gift, is the best way to flip the coin.
I am thankful always, that no matter what happens, there will always be a gift to find if I am persistent in looking for and finding it. SO get good at flipping the coin, and be thankful for ALL things.”

Well the funniest thing happened two days later. It was like it was a test. I do not really think the universe works that way, but it sure seems as if every time I make a resolve in life, I get tested.

Any way, I was so excited about taking my family to my favorite restaurant down at the beach. I eat there every time I go. I have thought about taking them all there for several years now. It sits out on the water, and when the sun sets it is just beautiful. We were all dressed up, and on the waiting list to be seated. There were 11 of us. We were told it would be a 20 minute wait….which turned into a 90 minute wait, while I watched another party as large as ours get seated, and they had come in after us. I tried to be composed and polite, as the tears ran down my cheek. I could not have my family wait any longer, so we left and decided in our dressed up gigs to have take out pizza. (Now one of our family members runs the pizza place, so it certainly helped her and her business.) The bill for pizza was certainly a lot less than it would have been for fine dining. And with all of that I was desperately trying to keep my coin flipped: With a good attitude, despite the fact that inside I was heart broken……Then it happened, I walked out to the parking lot of the pizza place, to find two of my grandchildren sitting in the back seat of my convertible ready to go for a ride in the wind. But that wasn’t what did it. It was the looks on their face. They both were sitting there with fireman hats on. While we were in ordering the pizza, a fire truck had pulled in. And if that was not a enough, one of the fireman had come over to talk to these two 5 and 6 year olds. They were just glowing. I will never forget the beam in their eye and the glow in their cheeks as they saw this big red truck up close, and now had their own personal fire hats.

Well that was certainly better than eating in a snooty restaurant when you add it all up. Yea I believe in flipping the coin. And I believe that when you do, a fire truck or some semblance there of will always pull up and give you a thrill.