paradox, integration, balance and perceptions

Someone recently asked me to pick one word to describe myself, and i picked the word paradox. That immediately triggered a longer conversation about who I was. It was in that conversation, that I was able to describe myself in more descriptive terms...I said: "I am a really hard worker, but I play really hard. I love freedom and flexibility, but need structure and clear expectations. I work independently but also work well in and with a team......etc. It was a great conversation. However becoming that balanced and integrated person was not something I have always been. There have been times in my life where i have been one extreme or the other, and there have been other times when i have been just a little of both, but not strong in any one direction.

I have spent time and effort both in assessing my strengths and also looking at how to transform my weaknesses back into strengths". (Weaknesses are all just opportunities to be better in some area of our lives). And I am always looking for ways to flip those perceived weaknesses into strengths. "Weaknesses" are really just perceptions. If we change our perceptions of ourselves, we will then change our image of ourselves; when our image changes our positive energy potential grows as well.

The work of Transforming perceptions works well in the group settings too. We meet new people and begin to develop opinions of their attributes. We then start categorizing them into positive and negative (Strengths and weaknesses). Those conclusions often cause us to be judgemental critical and distant. It is a natural course of thinking, however at any point we can interrupt that process and adjust our perceptions from thinking something is bad or a weakness into perceiving that it is good.

A tangible example would be to pick up a pencil and ask yourself.. is this pencil useful or not? is this pencil a good thing or not..... most people would say their perception is it is neither good nor bad or it is all good. But to the person who has been poked in the eye by a pencil... their perception is quite different. They think the pencil is just bad!

The real challenge is for the person who has been poked in the eye; trying to flip that perception of the pencil from it being a weapon, to it being a useful tool.

We have similar experiences with people and our perceptions of other peoples weaknesses and strengths. And it is just as difficult to change your perception of another person. Maybe they have have hurt you; but there is usually a reason for that, and behind that and simulataneously with that there could be and very often is also a good person. Its all perception.

But the whole point of being a paradox, is that life is both. and people are both. We have good and bad (so to speak), strengths and weaknesses, positive and negative. And how we use or interact with any one of them is all about perception.

And it is my perception that all things are as they are suppose to be, nothing is as it seems, but there is a gift (good) in all things and all people, and its all about perception.



These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake

Just BEING

I am amazed continually with how uncomfortable I am with just being,
Not being entertained, and not doing something, just being. Even writing this blog is having to DO something. I am driven to serve and to fix and to problem solve. I like being busy, whether its busy with fun or busy with work.

And the brain, OMG, does it ever just do nothing? I sit to meditate…. But find myself jabbering away at some form of a higher power, with god, with angels, with ancestors, with my totems: something.

I can tell you that getting quiet is a necessary part of healing, but doing it is something entirely different. There is that word again: “doing”. I think that meditation is something that we should be doing….. But it is still not just being.

All of my spiritual heroes and mentors have written about and spoken about the power of being, and yet, it seems to elude me. So I ask: so what do I want to be? I want to be happy, and free and peaceful and energetic. I want to dance and be creative and productive and alive.

I want to be connected and healthy and making a difference and I want to be able to sit quietly and just be all that I am without doing anything. I guess one would have to feel pretty good about themselves to do that. And I guess I would have to feel like I have value just because I exist for me to not feel guilty over doing nothing and just being.

So I believe that all things are as they are supposed to be, and nothing is as it seems and that there is a gift in all experiences. So for today, and for this moment I am going to simply embrace the gift of breathing and being alive and have no expectations and just be in every present moment.

These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake