changing jobs: all is as it is suppose to be

These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
All is not always as you think it is, but it is always exactly as it is suppose to be.

Very often our instincts tell us that something is wrong. Trust that. ALWAYS trust that. What you can not always trust is your heart and your head. They will both lie to you.

The most optimal circumstance is when your heart and your head and your gut feeling all align. That is a pretty powerful state of being; and one to be sought after.

What does that all mean? I recently was feeling like I needed to leave my current job. My gut was saying go, run, leave. But my head was so looking for the reason. I began to find things that would give me a reason to leave. It almost felt like I was fabricating them. I had people around me saying, yep, you are right, things aren’t right here, and you need to move on.. Yet my heart did not want to leave; and every time I thought I had it figured out, something would come along and just screw up my thoughts and my plan.

My head started to play tricks on me. I started to feel like a failure, and a coward for running from a difficult situation. And I at times felt responsible for the chaos there. And then
I would get into my spiritual “mode” and go into work like I was on a mission to save the world. I would tell myself that there is no place so negative, so dark that I could not bring light to it. And every day I would wake up determined to stay energized and positive throughout the day no matter how difficult it was. (And driving home exhausted)

Battle lines were drawn, and droves of people came out to say… do it…quit, get out of there! And just as many came forth to say please stay we need you here. I was so confused.

Now in the midst of this surfaced several different job offers. One of them making me an offer of $23,000.00 more than I was currently making. (And my brain kept saying “that’s a no brainer”) yet I continued to struggle.

There were people involved, and circumstances, and system failures. And I could today make you a list of all of the reasons why I finally chose to leave. But in reality it has nothing to do with any of those things. My perception allowed me to zoom in those things to simply help me make a decision. I needed to go, for no other reason except it was time to go and I just needed to leave.
There was emotion involved, and feelings got hurt. And perceptions were different. Each of those were used to help get from point A to point B. And the truth probably lies somewhere else. So I came to realize that I did not leave, for any of those reasons except it was time to go. What I was suppose to do there was complete.

Some of the things I learned through this experience are:
If you ask, the universe it will answer. I kept saying show me why I am leaving, and it showed me. Sometimes very painfully. But I was very clear the day I made my final decision.
If you wait, and give it time, you will know. I kept having these momentary feelings of, ok I need to go here, or there, or somewhere else, or stay. They were energizing feelings, because they felt like I was moving forward. But all it was: was adrenaline, and that good feeling would leave as soon as I would slow down and get quiet.

Adrenaline can give you a false sense of energy. But if you loose that when you slow down, its an illusion, or worse yet if you can never slow down and be still and get quiet. You can be pretty sure you are running from something.

There is also a place of complacency that looks a lot like peace, but in reality it is human compromise. I saw much complacency around me, and thought it was peacefulness, and wondered why I did not have any of it. Being still is incredible, but to stay still, without movement for LONG periods of time is certain death.

There are no wrong decisions. If I had decided to stay it would have been the right decision, but I decided to go, so it is the right decision, Several times I would try on a decision, as if I was making it, and then begin to proceed with its implementation. (cautiously) and if things started going awry, I would back up to the last point in the journey I felt peaceful and try again. If it kept going wrong, I would know undoubtedly that I needed to go in a different direction.

Knowing you are doing the right thing provides a feeling of energy, and peacefulness. And it is usually effortlessly.

If you are moving in the right direction it will not drain you (effort) it will energize you and give you peace.

The place I am leaving, is not a bad place. In fact it is a pretty marvelous place, that does an outstanding job of what it is trying to do. It is not what I need to do, but that does not make it better or worse than who I am, it just makes it different. In order to get me headed in the right direction, I needed to perceive it to be a negative place temporarily. But now that I am on my way to a new place, my perception of the old place has returned to good.

So things are not what they seem. And they are. Every person, every situation is both good and bad simultaneously. (although I really do not believe in bad, only light and dark and positive and negative.)

I caused turmoil and chaos at that job, and participated in alchemy. And I also brought light and healing and change . I felt sadness, and anger and joy and love. It is all as it is suppose to be.

And lastly, and most important is what I learned about the voice of my body. If you are headed down a wrong path or at a crossroads in life, your body will speak to you first. Fatigue, unhealthy behaviors, obesity, poor self care, poor concentration, social isolation are red flags that something is wrong. Now that I have made my decision, and know it’s the right decision, because I am energetic, peaceful, I am eating right, exercising, and feel like I am healing. I can meditate again, and I feel like being around people. And I am moving, mindfully, and peacefully.

And no I did not take that lucrative job, but instead one that would challenge me and create a sense of passion and desire to get up and go to work. (my heart) Now my head wouldn’t let me go backwards financially, So I am going to be making more money, but making more money in a peaceful energetic circumstance. It all fell into place. And am grateful for every difficult moment I have had in the last 4 months.

My head and my heart now are in alliance with my gut feeling. And all is as it is suppose to be.