These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
Sometimes we have moments we all want to remember.
Then we don’t. We forget. (Till something else comes along and reminds us of it.)
Well last night I had a moment that I wanted to remember.
A little history: Rich periodically will put on his Eagles CD and turn it up and there are one or two songs on the album that when I hear them, I always stop what I am doing and come find him. (And we dance and hum and feel grateful) Link is at end of email, and on link list.
Well during one of those moments I had a great idea. I would get Richard tickets to the concert, for Christmas. So I did, and we went last night
During the concert I was just overwhelmed with gratefulness that I got to experience such a great thing. Now these guys have been around since we were young. And each has done something unique on their own: Tim B Schmidt, Glen Frey, Don Henley, and my favorite Joe Walsh. And yet, still get along, still play music, and still do it so good.(and do it sober now) I mean they do it in a way that just makes you go wow. It was at that moment that I was so grateful for growing up in the generation I did with the music we did. I am grateful for the times of being a band groupie. I am grateful for the number of family and friends who love music, and I am grateful just for friends and family and for experiences throughout our lives. We are so lucky to have had and do have on a regular basis, such joy. It was a moment in time that I wish we could have shared. It was a feeling that I wanted to come home and put into words, and say: “NEVER EVER settle for anything less than that joy”. I am so blessed so fortunate to have so much joy, at home, with our dogs, with our family with our friends, at work, at play when we sleep, and just anytime we breathe.
Now most of you know that we have known pain. And we have known loss and suffering and heartaches and feelings of failure. We have fallen down and have gotten back up, and we both have been determined over our lives to find that constant sense of peace, of joy: effortless joy.
Maybe when you get old your values change, your desires change, perception changes. But for now life is good, we feel joy. We love all that has been given to us or loaned to us. Not sure when we will have to give it back. But for now, I am just grateful for the feelings. Wish you all could have been there with us…Wish you all have those moments where you just feel high from raw gratefulness and joy. WE wish you:
NO MORE CLOUDY DAYS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2ckN_GREtU
ONE OF THESE NIGHTS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v3QuyJUPB4
and for those of you who have never had a song dedicated to ya.. from the good ole days: FUNK 49
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3lEqVAroX4&feature=PlayList&p=721945A6B42DB7EE&playnext=1&index=8
Moral of the story… if you are having fun you don’t grow old. And if you do get old, you don’t notice and you don’t care. I think it is all more fun when you are 60!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The Contender
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
After writing the last blog I re watched the DVD “THE CONTENDER” with Gary Oldman, Joan Allen, Jeff Bridges and Christian Slater. It was about a female being asked to be a vice presidential candidate and what she had to go through to be approved.
The reviews of the movie were bad (made in 2000) but I found it to be an excellent example of “not reacting”. She was accused of horrendous things, but didn’t react. Instead she took a stand by saying “no comment” I couldn’t imagine the strength it took for her not to react with rage. But after watching it twice, I feel nothing but respect for the character she portrayed. I would encourage any of you reading this, who wants to be challenged by an idealistic portrayal of our politics. It inspired strength in me.
On another note I am always amazed by the things that come out of my mouth that later I regret. And the time I spend beating myself up, and then realizing I was simply reacting to things that are deep seated and obscure. I believe in this non anxious parasympathetic nervous system state of calm and peace, but continue to live in an impulsive reactive state. I then spend endless amounts of energy and time wondering: “where in the hell did that come from?”.
Then I realize AGAIN, that all things are as they are supposed to be. And the comment was meant to be said, and I am meant to become aware of a feeling and a past situation that contributed to the feeling, and then I am allowed to choose to continue in that feeling or not. And it is only possible to return to peace and calm and quiet by being quiet and peaceful.
Simultaneously I am struggling with the concept of “fighting”. Is that an old energy, and is there a time and place for it any where in today’s society?
I am conditioned to think there are certain things worth fighting for, but I am wondering if there is a difference between things worth fighting for, and things worth dying for. Some of my mentors imply that fighting is an obsolete effort, and that power now comes through peace and love. If that be the case, why does there continue to be so much violence in the animal kingdom?
After writing the last blog I re watched the DVD “THE CONTENDER” with Gary Oldman, Joan Allen, Jeff Bridges and Christian Slater. It was about a female being asked to be a vice presidential candidate and what she had to go through to be approved.
The reviews of the movie were bad (made in 2000) but I found it to be an excellent example of “not reacting”. She was accused of horrendous things, but didn’t react. Instead she took a stand by saying “no comment” I couldn’t imagine the strength it took for her not to react with rage. But after watching it twice, I feel nothing but respect for the character she portrayed. I would encourage any of you reading this, who wants to be challenged by an idealistic portrayal of our politics. It inspired strength in me.
On another note I am always amazed by the things that come out of my mouth that later I regret. And the time I spend beating myself up, and then realizing I was simply reacting to things that are deep seated and obscure. I believe in this non anxious parasympathetic nervous system state of calm and peace, but continue to live in an impulsive reactive state. I then spend endless amounts of energy and time wondering: “where in the hell did that come from?”.
Then I realize AGAIN, that all things are as they are supposed to be. And the comment was meant to be said, and I am meant to become aware of a feeling and a past situation that contributed to the feeling, and then I am allowed to choose to continue in that feeling or not. And it is only possible to return to peace and calm and quiet by being quiet and peaceful.
Simultaneously I am struggling with the concept of “fighting”. Is that an old energy, and is there a time and place for it any where in today’s society?
I am conditioned to think there are certain things worth fighting for, but I am wondering if there is a difference between things worth fighting for, and things worth dying for. Some of my mentors imply that fighting is an obsolete effort, and that power now comes through peace and love. If that be the case, why does there continue to be so much violence in the animal kingdom?
It all is as it is suppose to be.
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
It all is as it is suppose to be.
I have been processing the concept of reaction. What is a reaction? A reaction is the body’s way of communicating with you. And when we react, we need to listen.
One of mentors spent forever trying to get me “out of my head” and into my body. She kept saying: listen to your body.
As I have been doing that, I am beginning to get the sense that a reaction serves two purposes.
One is a red flag that we still have an issue to process from our past. And two it is a spiritual warning that there is something in your immediate present that is a threat to you.
Either one takes your power from you. Now I do not think we have control over the actual reaction. But I think we have absolute control over the intensity of the reaction and the action that we assign to that reaction.
Reactions are usually a sympathetic nervous system (SNS) response that can be reversed with a parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) response. To make it simple SNS speeds things up. You feel stress, your heart speeds up, your blood pressure goes up, you feel anxious and you suffer the long term consequences of stress. PNS slows things down allowing a feeling of peace and calm.
Triggering the PBS takes practice. Things like yoga, breathing, meditating and other QUIET activities foster PNS outcomes. Practicing PNS behaviors allows one to regain control over SNS quicker and easier.
Now for those of you who need to think through things… thinking is far more rational when the PNS is in control. (the peaceful pondering) Thinking through a situation while your heart is beating wildly, rarely produces intelligent behaviors.
So as you find yourself in a situation, where you want to react. Sit calmly, breathe and allow it to be as it is suppose to be. Do not react in SNS state; react with calm and thought and peace.
If you have read the previous blogs about gus….then you might find this interesting:
A SNS reaction would have been to put him down (fear). However…. Last night we found a large lump in gus's neck area last night.. we are not sure how long it has been there.. but if it was there in november.. it would surely explain his reaction to me...will keep you posted…….
It all is as it is suppose to be.
I have been processing the concept of reaction. What is a reaction? A reaction is the body’s way of communicating with you. And when we react, we need to listen.
One of mentors spent forever trying to get me “out of my head” and into my body. She kept saying: listen to your body.
As I have been doing that, I am beginning to get the sense that a reaction serves two purposes.
One is a red flag that we still have an issue to process from our past. And two it is a spiritual warning that there is something in your immediate present that is a threat to you.
Either one takes your power from you. Now I do not think we have control over the actual reaction. But I think we have absolute control over the intensity of the reaction and the action that we assign to that reaction.
Reactions are usually a sympathetic nervous system (SNS) response that can be reversed with a parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) response. To make it simple SNS speeds things up. You feel stress, your heart speeds up, your blood pressure goes up, you feel anxious and you suffer the long term consequences of stress. PNS slows things down allowing a feeling of peace and calm.
Triggering the PBS takes practice. Things like yoga, breathing, meditating and other QUIET activities foster PNS outcomes. Practicing PNS behaviors allows one to regain control over SNS quicker and easier.
Now for those of you who need to think through things… thinking is far more rational when the PNS is in control. (the peaceful pondering) Thinking through a situation while your heart is beating wildly, rarely produces intelligent behaviors.
So as you find yourself in a situation, where you want to react. Sit calmly, breathe and allow it to be as it is suppose to be. Do not react in SNS state; react with calm and thought and peace.
If you have read the previous blogs about gus….then you might find this interesting:
A SNS reaction would have been to put him down (fear). However…. Last night we found a large lump in gus's neck area last night.. we are not sure how long it has been there.. but if it was there in november.. it would surely explain his reaction to me...will keep you posted…….
Monday, January 5, 2009
Paradox: Never settle, but always be satisfied
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
Paradox: Never settle, but always be satisfied
I am always amazed by the duality of life. When I wrote the book “If you stand in the middle you won’t fall down”, I pictured a seesaw. My image of the seesaw was all about managing the ups and downs of life. My original premise was that if you let go of what you could not control and took on responsibility for what you did (your own thoughts, feelings and behavior) life would be balanced and good. (And that is still true today)
Today the image and function of a seesaw continues to have meaning. I am now, not only finding the balance between polar opposites but am I learning to live with them both simultaneously.
I went to bed asking in prayer for wisdom from my higher power. I woke up today with this thought on my mind. What first came to me was: Never settle, but always be satisfied. Believe you can have it all, but be happy with what you have. Dream big, but live simply.
Over my life time I have lived at those polar ends. I have settled, and found misery lingering about. And at other times I have worked long and hard to have it all, desperately falling short in a state of fatigue. But now it seems that the less I do the more I have. It is about being not about doing.
I want less stuff and more memories. I want more life, less stress. I am still, but I am experiencing more. Let me say that again. I am still but I am experiencing more. Being “still” is about knowing what you want, and weeding out all of the things you think you want, but really don’t. Being still is about moving forward in a different direction. There is nothing more powerful than being still and being quiet. The paradox is that when you begin a day with a list of endless things to do, and unrealistic demands from those around you, that more gets done, and more quality surrounds those tasks.
Today, if you are reading this, and you feel overwhelmed with all you have to do; then do nothing for a few minutes except get quiet, be grateful, and be fully present in the moment.
The list doesn’t change, but the power the list has over you will. Then commit to having fun. You can only do what you can do, and it is all as it is suppose to be.
Paradox: Never settle, but always be satisfied
I am always amazed by the duality of life. When I wrote the book “If you stand in the middle you won’t fall down”, I pictured a seesaw. My image of the seesaw was all about managing the ups and downs of life. My original premise was that if you let go of what you could not control and took on responsibility for what you did (your own thoughts, feelings and behavior) life would be balanced and good. (And that is still true today)
Today the image and function of a seesaw continues to have meaning. I am now, not only finding the balance between polar opposites but am I learning to live with them both simultaneously.
I went to bed asking in prayer for wisdom from my higher power. I woke up today with this thought on my mind. What first came to me was: Never settle, but always be satisfied. Believe you can have it all, but be happy with what you have. Dream big, but live simply.
Over my life time I have lived at those polar ends. I have settled, and found misery lingering about. And at other times I have worked long and hard to have it all, desperately falling short in a state of fatigue. But now it seems that the less I do the more I have. It is about being not about doing.
I want less stuff and more memories. I want more life, less stress. I am still, but I am experiencing more. Let me say that again. I am still but I am experiencing more. Being “still” is about knowing what you want, and weeding out all of the things you think you want, but really don’t. Being still is about moving forward in a different direction. There is nothing more powerful than being still and being quiet. The paradox is that when you begin a day with a list of endless things to do, and unrealistic demands from those around you, that more gets done, and more quality surrounds those tasks.
Today, if you are reading this, and you feel overwhelmed with all you have to do; then do nothing for a few minutes except get quiet, be grateful, and be fully present in the moment.
The list doesn’t change, but the power the list has over you will. Then commit to having fun. You can only do what you can do, and it is all as it is suppose to be.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Listening to Gus
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
So it has been a month since my altercation with my sweet sweet Gus. (Details listed in previous blog.) The healing emotionally and the understanding of it has certainly been a process.
My face looks great! It still needs healing inside, (under the skin...some numb areas, some nerves still not working; but nothing I can't live with) My face is “asymmetrical” because of that, but even that is improving slowly and steadily.
Am beginning to be aware of some insights....and the situation has really connected to my professional work.
A few people have told us they saw this in gus....his potential…..but we never did: never in three years did either of us see this. (Reasons for this I will explain in a minute.)
This happens to me with people too….. I always see and look for the best in people. Goethe’s quote has been my mantra.... "if you treat a man as he is he will remain as he is, if you treat him as if he were what he could be and ought to be, he will become that.."
Sometimes I get blindsided by people....just as i was with gus....
The situation has been teaching us a different level of awareness so as not to get blindsided.
The state of mind I was in when I hugged gus was not alert / aware. (a little alcohol involved) a little altered. So my judgment or the lack there of is definitely a factor.
I am also am ashamed to say my love for and relationship with animals has been so selfish.... I sucked up their love and come to be dependent on it, with out regards to any need they might have. It is probably why I have never had a cat. They are too independent and they tell you when they want love, and really are not interested in when you need it.
We are entering into a new energy dynamic. We have been listening to him, now and with subtle clues he has been telling us where not to pet him. (or hug him) and for that i am respecting him more. The clues are subtle. (Obviously missed them due to my altered state)
This lesson is not just about respect, awareness and trust but is also about unconditional love.
We decided not to put gus down. Domestic violence batterers can beat the crap out of a partner and not be put down, often don’t go to jail and sometimes don’t even get a slap on the hand, so since they get to roam freely to do this again, figured gus had at least another chance.
Was surprised how many people wanted us to do that, and thought there was no other option. I do believe that thinking is fearful and somewhat narrow. We don’t kill alligators or snakes and tigers, but we live respectively honoring their position as wild animals. Gus has bitten and I will honor his potential to do it again, but will not stop loving him! We love him differently and respectively.
I am still grieving. Although Gus is still with us my relationship with him as it was is gone. My innocence is gone. My comfort at hugging him is gone; But opportunities to develop a new kind of relationship continues to exist however.
One of the biggest things we got from the pet healer (link to her site is listed above) is how to communicate with our animals. We tell him everyday what our expectations of him are, and every day we listen to him to see what he needs too. We are learning about non verbal communication.
Rich and I both get tired of politics because of the lying. But both of us are learning to hear and listen to clues rather than get overwhelmed with just words. Those same lessons are relevant as we work with animals. They can’t speak but they do communicate clearly if we listen.
It is in that non verbal communication that energy is exchanged. And both of us have been opening up to a new type of energy work, because of this. At the core of it is intent.
Intent is the combination of well thought out words and deeply aware desires. (All deserving of a separate entry) For now I just want to close by saying, that the pet healer allowed us to verbalize our desire to heal in words that were congruent to reality and physics. She also facilitated intent full of love and helped us reduce our fear and enhance our power through love. (Nothing mystical about it, and yet all spiritual and etheric)
We now are taking that to our clients and to our friends (and animals) Words combined with well informed intent, inspired from love, respect, without condition and trusting always the out come is exactly what it is supposed to be.
I still have a lot of questions about the violence in the animal kingdom, and the survival of the fittest. I have begun asking question of my higher self. I need some understanding of what God was thinking when he created a system that depended on killing another for their survival. Another topic another blog.
So it has been a month since my altercation with my sweet sweet Gus. (Details listed in previous blog.) The healing emotionally and the understanding of it has certainly been a process.
My face looks great! It still needs healing inside, (under the skin...some numb areas, some nerves still not working; but nothing I can't live with) My face is “asymmetrical” because of that, but even that is improving slowly and steadily.
Am beginning to be aware of some insights....and the situation has really connected to my professional work.
A few people have told us they saw this in gus....his potential…..but we never did: never in three years did either of us see this. (Reasons for this I will explain in a minute.)
This happens to me with people too….. I always see and look for the best in people. Goethe’s quote has been my mantra.... "if you treat a man as he is he will remain as he is, if you treat him as if he were what he could be and ought to be, he will become that.."
Sometimes I get blindsided by people....just as i was with gus....
The situation has been teaching us a different level of awareness so as not to get blindsided.
The state of mind I was in when I hugged gus was not alert / aware. (a little alcohol involved) a little altered. So my judgment or the lack there of is definitely a factor.
I am also am ashamed to say my love for and relationship with animals has been so selfish.... I sucked up their love and come to be dependent on it, with out regards to any need they might have. It is probably why I have never had a cat. They are too independent and they tell you when they want love, and really are not interested in when you need it.
We are entering into a new energy dynamic. We have been listening to him, now and with subtle clues he has been telling us where not to pet him. (or hug him) and for that i am respecting him more. The clues are subtle. (Obviously missed them due to my altered state)
This lesson is not just about respect, awareness and trust but is also about unconditional love.
We decided not to put gus down. Domestic violence batterers can beat the crap out of a partner and not be put down, often don’t go to jail and sometimes don’t even get a slap on the hand, so since they get to roam freely to do this again, figured gus had at least another chance.
Was surprised how many people wanted us to do that, and thought there was no other option. I do believe that thinking is fearful and somewhat narrow. We don’t kill alligators or snakes and tigers, but we live respectively honoring their position as wild animals. Gus has bitten and I will honor his potential to do it again, but will not stop loving him! We love him differently and respectively.
I am still grieving. Although Gus is still with us my relationship with him as it was is gone. My innocence is gone. My comfort at hugging him is gone; But opportunities to develop a new kind of relationship continues to exist however.
One of the biggest things we got from the pet healer (link to her site is listed above) is how to communicate with our animals. We tell him everyday what our expectations of him are, and every day we listen to him to see what he needs too. We are learning about non verbal communication.
Rich and I both get tired of politics because of the lying. But both of us are learning to hear and listen to clues rather than get overwhelmed with just words. Those same lessons are relevant as we work with animals. They can’t speak but they do communicate clearly if we listen.
It is in that non verbal communication that energy is exchanged. And both of us have been opening up to a new type of energy work, because of this. At the core of it is intent.
Intent is the combination of well thought out words and deeply aware desires. (All deserving of a separate entry) For now I just want to close by saying, that the pet healer allowed us to verbalize our desire to heal in words that were congruent to reality and physics. She also facilitated intent full of love and helped us reduce our fear and enhance our power through love. (Nothing mystical about it, and yet all spiritual and etheric)
We now are taking that to our clients and to our friends (and animals) Words combined with well informed intent, inspired from love, respect, without condition and trusting always the out come is exactly what it is supposed to be.
I still have a lot of questions about the violence in the animal kingdom, and the survival of the fittest. I have begun asking question of my higher self. I need some understanding of what God was thinking when he created a system that depended on killing another for their survival. Another topic another blog.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The incident and the gate to healing
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
Some history:
Rich (my husband) and I have been married for 17 years although we have known each other since we were 9. We both love animals; especially dogs. We have had several dogs together as a couple and several in our childhood and previous relationships.
Polly is a longhaired flat coat type black lab. Any one who meets her immediately is attracted to her sweetness and beauty. She is like a person and is very intuitive. She prefers people to other dogs. She tolerates other dogs and animals, but will always seek out attention and play with humans. Up until three years she was the only dog. (And very much the princess alpha dog) And loyal and connected to each of us equally. She was a rescue dog and was probably less than a year when we got her. (in Florida)
Three years ago we were presented with the opportunity to rescue Gus after hurricane Katrina. He was brought to Florida from Mississippi by our VET. At first I did not connect with him, because he didn’t have a lab personality, and he was presented to us as a lab. After spending the weekend with him however and watching his body language, it became apparent to us that he had boxer in him. He has a boxer type personality. (And a beautiful boxer body and Lab face) When he plays with other boxers (females) they run and play the same). Then we fell in love with him. And have had him ever since: about 3 years.
For three years Gus has been a joy, a love, a playful delight. We have had hours of raw gratefulness that we were given two such incredible treats as these two children. Now as delightful as Gus has been, he is a dog. He could care less about people, but loves to play with dogs. When Polly doesn’t want to play, Gus willingly turns to us, and we have a blast with him. We have hugged, wrestled with, rolled around on the floor with, and probably invaded every inch of “his space”. Without any remote sign that there ever could be a problem. I even reached down once and took a piece of raw animal meat out of his mouth that he was chewing on like an addict sucks on his drug, without even a growl or a dirty look. Some people were afraid of him because his boxer body and strength could knock you over if you were paying attention to where his body was going. But he has always been a delight. He sort of became Rich’s dog and Polly became my dog. However both dogs follow Rich when he is outside and follow me when it is inside time.
From a pure energetic perspective, Gus has been sound asleep in other part of the house and yet senses when I am meditating and about 10 minutes into the journey he seeks me out and puts his paw on my arm or lays down next to me.
Polly looks into your eyes and you know she is connected to you and is speaking to you with her eyes. With Gus that spiritual connection is not in his eyes but always seems to show up when spirit is being honored or communed with.
I am very much connected to my animal totems; which at this time I connect with about 9 of them. Rich is a whisperer type to many animals, dogs, cats, horses and doesn’t believe in killing any of them.
THEN… Wednesday before Thanksgiving after dinner, I reached over (was sitting on the floor next to Gus) and hugged him. He was licking rich’s plate from dinner, and out of the blue he turned and attacked me, with violence. (I can still see in my minds eye the look on his face for that split second before his jaws hit my face). To get him off of me, rich kicked him out of instinct (which is unlike rich’s passive personality) and Gus then turned on him, but only got his shoe. He ripped my cheek to shreds, and ended up in one ER who transferred me to another due to the severity of it, and 100 stitches later, I am home and in totally shock. His shots were up to date so we quarantined him here. I am healing physically with great speed; thee plastics guy was truly impressed. But emotionally I am trying to figure this out.
Gus has changed in all of this. He used to happily bound over to me, wiggling his butt and smiling. Now he sadly strolls over turns around and just sits down next to me, with such sad eyes.
My big melt down was Saturday night after the incident, and I was ready to put the dog down. Rich was not. Then after much discussion he became more open to it, but then I did not feel good about it.
We decided on a plan: Which included:
1. getting the opinion of our holistic vet.
2. getting the opinion of a traditional vet
3. getting the opinion of a trainer or behavioral specialist
4. getting a muzzle for when unexpected company comes
5. to kennel him when the grandchildren come
6. praying and seeking out are own independent wisdom
Then we heard about a healer / pet psychic. http://www.healingwholeself.net/index.htm We decide to start there. She asked us to give her a little history and describe our circumstances, which is where the majority of this blog has come from.
This is what I / we said to her:
From a psychotherapeutic perspective: I love this dog, and can pet him, and walk him and talk to him with love. I am saddened that I do not feel safe with him. Heart wrenching sad that I can’t (won’t) hug him. I can’t figure this out. I was so blindsided. However: I also know I have some responsibility to be sure this never happens again to another animal or another human.
I am also a firm believer in the laws of attraction: And know that I/we attracted this into our life to provide wisdom, growth, and love. I know the universe is blessing us as we speak because we have had this experience. I can be grateful for it, as I simultaneously feel fear. I do not make decisions out of fear; I try to make them out of love.
The Intention of session:
Our consensus together of what we needed from the session was:
1. Some understanding of why he did it? (We want him to feel good and feel safe and us not do again what ever it was that we did to trigger this)
2. Healing for us: Emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually (us meaning Gus, Rich and I)
3. What do we do now? Should we put him down to insure the safety of “others”?
Other relevant miscellaneous information:
Rich and I are a very balanced couple. (True yin and yang) I thought that the majority of this was for my benefit, because I took the biggest hit. But also knew it affected us both tremendously.
My husband is a very old soul who lives in the present moment. His spirituality is subtle (but actually can be more powerful than mine) He is very concrete, and linear. I am very actively participating in my journey and can flip from right to left brain almost to a fault. I do energy work, have been on shamanic journeys and can relate to what you say on your web site. I have believed that prior to this that there were no accidents, only levels of awareness and consciousness. This event has gone to the core of that. What did I miss?
I have never been able to explain to him in language he understands, what channeling is, or even energy work. but believe on many levels that he does it without even knowing it. (He is an old old healer) He is not skeptical about what healers and light workers do, because he has seen so many spiritual miracles come out of situations I present to him (like going to a sweat lodge etc). But he kept asking: “well what is she going to do? Does she give advice, or does she see things or what?” His precious very simplistic mind can not wrap itself around what healing from an energetic perspective is all about. (I really don’t know either but I just trust the process and know that intuitively it’s the right thing to do.)
We both knew there were past traumas related to animals wrapped up in this: (ie: Rich had a dog with his ex wife. Her name was Mission. She was a huge St Bernard. (I have seen pictures of her). He had to put her down because his apartment was too small and the neighbors complained about her. He said: “I will never forgive myself for that.”
We lost a dog to an alligator attack, another beloved dog to heart worm despite being treated, another one hit by a car etc…
We knew the need for healing existed on all levels. Will try to describe in words exactly what happened in our session. But will do that in another message. This message needs to end with the thought that. We are grateful we did not react impulsively. We are grateful we started with a healer. We have decided to keep Gus.
We are grateful for the abundance of prayers and love we have received. We are grateful for the healing of my face. (at the level of a miracle). We are grateful for light workers, and energy healers. We are grateful for the many gifts we have begun to discover as a result of this incident. I still have questions about it… but the fear and anxiety of it has substantially subsided.
Some history:
Rich (my husband) and I have been married for 17 years although we have known each other since we were 9. We both love animals; especially dogs. We have had several dogs together as a couple and several in our childhood and previous relationships.
Polly is a longhaired flat coat type black lab. Any one who meets her immediately is attracted to her sweetness and beauty. She is like a person and is very intuitive. She prefers people to other dogs. She tolerates other dogs and animals, but will always seek out attention and play with humans. Up until three years she was the only dog. (And very much the princess alpha dog) And loyal and connected to each of us equally. She was a rescue dog and was probably less than a year when we got her. (in Florida)
Three years ago we were presented with the opportunity to rescue Gus after hurricane Katrina. He was brought to Florida from Mississippi by our VET. At first I did not connect with him, because he didn’t have a lab personality, and he was presented to us as a lab. After spending the weekend with him however and watching his body language, it became apparent to us that he had boxer in him. He has a boxer type personality. (And a beautiful boxer body and Lab face) When he plays with other boxers (females) they run and play the same). Then we fell in love with him. And have had him ever since: about 3 years.
For three years Gus has been a joy, a love, a playful delight. We have had hours of raw gratefulness that we were given two such incredible treats as these two children. Now as delightful as Gus has been, he is a dog. He could care less about people, but loves to play with dogs. When Polly doesn’t want to play, Gus willingly turns to us, and we have a blast with him. We have hugged, wrestled with, rolled around on the floor with, and probably invaded every inch of “his space”. Without any remote sign that there ever could be a problem. I even reached down once and took a piece of raw animal meat out of his mouth that he was chewing on like an addict sucks on his drug, without even a growl or a dirty look. Some people were afraid of him because his boxer body and strength could knock you over if you were paying attention to where his body was going. But he has always been a delight. He sort of became Rich’s dog and Polly became my dog. However both dogs follow Rich when he is outside and follow me when it is inside time.
From a pure energetic perspective, Gus has been sound asleep in other part of the house and yet senses when I am meditating and about 10 minutes into the journey he seeks me out and puts his paw on my arm or lays down next to me.
Polly looks into your eyes and you know she is connected to you and is speaking to you with her eyes. With Gus that spiritual connection is not in his eyes but always seems to show up when spirit is being honored or communed with.
I am very much connected to my animal totems; which at this time I connect with about 9 of them. Rich is a whisperer type to many animals, dogs, cats, horses and doesn’t believe in killing any of them.
THEN… Wednesday before Thanksgiving after dinner, I reached over (was sitting on the floor next to Gus) and hugged him. He was licking rich’s plate from dinner, and out of the blue he turned and attacked me, with violence. (I can still see in my minds eye the look on his face for that split second before his jaws hit my face). To get him off of me, rich kicked him out of instinct (which is unlike rich’s passive personality) and Gus then turned on him, but only got his shoe. He ripped my cheek to shreds, and ended up in one ER who transferred me to another due to the severity of it, and 100 stitches later, I am home and in totally shock. His shots were up to date so we quarantined him here. I am healing physically with great speed; thee plastics guy was truly impressed. But emotionally I am trying to figure this out.
Gus has changed in all of this. He used to happily bound over to me, wiggling his butt and smiling. Now he sadly strolls over turns around and just sits down next to me, with such sad eyes.
My big melt down was Saturday night after the incident, and I was ready to put the dog down. Rich was not. Then after much discussion he became more open to it, but then I did not feel good about it.
We decided on a plan: Which included:
1. getting the opinion of our holistic vet.
2. getting the opinion of a traditional vet
3. getting the opinion of a trainer or behavioral specialist
4. getting a muzzle for when unexpected company comes
5. to kennel him when the grandchildren come
6. praying and seeking out are own independent wisdom
Then we heard about a healer / pet psychic. http://www.healingwholeself.net/index.htm We decide to start there. She asked us to give her a little history and describe our circumstances, which is where the majority of this blog has come from.
This is what I / we said to her:
From a psychotherapeutic perspective: I love this dog, and can pet him, and walk him and talk to him with love. I am saddened that I do not feel safe with him. Heart wrenching sad that I can’t (won’t) hug him. I can’t figure this out. I was so blindsided. However: I also know I have some responsibility to be sure this never happens again to another animal or another human.
I am also a firm believer in the laws of attraction: And know that I/we attracted this into our life to provide wisdom, growth, and love. I know the universe is blessing us as we speak because we have had this experience. I can be grateful for it, as I simultaneously feel fear. I do not make decisions out of fear; I try to make them out of love.
The Intention of session:
Our consensus together of what we needed from the session was:
1. Some understanding of why he did it? (We want him to feel good and feel safe and us not do again what ever it was that we did to trigger this)
2. Healing for us: Emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually (us meaning Gus, Rich and I)
3. What do we do now? Should we put him down to insure the safety of “others”?
Other relevant miscellaneous information:
Rich and I are a very balanced couple. (True yin and yang) I thought that the majority of this was for my benefit, because I took the biggest hit. But also knew it affected us both tremendously.
My husband is a very old soul who lives in the present moment. His spirituality is subtle (but actually can be more powerful than mine) He is very concrete, and linear. I am very actively participating in my journey and can flip from right to left brain almost to a fault. I do energy work, have been on shamanic journeys and can relate to what you say on your web site. I have believed that prior to this that there were no accidents, only levels of awareness and consciousness. This event has gone to the core of that. What did I miss?
I have never been able to explain to him in language he understands, what channeling is, or even energy work. but believe on many levels that he does it without even knowing it. (He is an old old healer) He is not skeptical about what healers and light workers do, because he has seen so many spiritual miracles come out of situations I present to him (like going to a sweat lodge etc). But he kept asking: “well what is she going to do? Does she give advice, or does she see things or what?” His precious very simplistic mind can not wrap itself around what healing from an energetic perspective is all about. (I really don’t know either but I just trust the process and know that intuitively it’s the right thing to do.)
We both knew there were past traumas related to animals wrapped up in this: (ie: Rich had a dog with his ex wife. Her name was Mission. She was a huge St Bernard. (I have seen pictures of her). He had to put her down because his apartment was too small and the neighbors complained about her. He said: “I will never forgive myself for that.”
We lost a dog to an alligator attack, another beloved dog to heart worm despite being treated, another one hit by a car etc…
We knew the need for healing existed on all levels. Will try to describe in words exactly what happened in our session. But will do that in another message. This message needs to end with the thought that. We are grateful we did not react impulsively. We are grateful we started with a healer. We have decided to keep Gus.
We are grateful for the abundance of prayers and love we have received. We are grateful for the healing of my face. (at the level of a miracle). We are grateful for light workers, and energy healers. We are grateful for the many gifts we have begun to discover as a result of this incident. I still have questions about it… but the fear and anxiety of it has substantially subsided.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Overcoming fear and anxiety
These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake
So about 2 years ago I was working closely with a shaman to get in touch with myself, my healer, my higher power and my ability to inspire healing.
We did many very cool exercises working with nature and animals that reflected the energy of the Native Americans that I so deeply honor and respect.
Many of the exercise were about developing trust. (Of myself and of my higher power).The last one she asked me to do was go out in the woods by myself and spend 24 hours totally alone. About this time there was a girl killed and a couple missing in the mountains of north Georgia where I was living. There are rattle snakes, and bears and wild cats and wolves and all sorts of unknown phenomenon. Just thinking about it gave me raw fear to the core.
I sort of disconnected myself from the process and went on with my life. But over the months I began to wonder why that was such a difficult process. The Indians did it everyday of their lives. I knew someday I would work through my issues so that I could actually do it.
An opportunity came up a few days ago that allowed me to move towards that end. I was invited back to the mountains of North Georgia and provided a cabin to stay in for the night. Now the cabin is out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods (National forests actually). On the door of the cabin there are claw marks where a bear tried to scratch its way in. Down the hill there is a little deck by a stream that the owner of the cabin (my friend) used to sleep on all the time to commune with nature. On one of those occasions she was confronted by 6 bears wandering in that wilderness.
Initially I was going to just go there by myself and sleep in the cabin as a step closer to my goal. But instead my daughter met me there to have a girly day, and I decided that with her in the cabin, I was going to sleep outdoors, on the deck.
To some of you that might not seem to be that big of a deal, and I actually felt that it would not be for me either. But as it turned out as midnight approached and I went to the deck with my blankets. I became paralyzed with fear. I was overwhelmed by the darkness and the silence. I heard myself say: “I don’t think I can do this”.
I did make some compromise, my daughter slept on the couch with the windows open which was right on the other side of the screens from where I was. And I left a light on upstairs in the loft of the cabin, and lit one candle at the top of the steps of the deck.
Even with that, I was in a state of panic when she went inside and I was left outside alone. I spent an hour or so literally sitting straight up looking around, in a state of freeze, waiting for some evil creature to jump out of no where. I could not get my sympathetic nervous system reversed with parasympathetic nervous system triggers.
Over the next few hours I eased down into a reclining position. (The goal was to actually feel relaxed enough to sleep.) At some point I had to pee. Could have gone inside, but felt that was the easy way; so I eased down the steps of the deck and out into the woods a little bit, and did what every good camper would do.
When I return to the deck I started feeling calmer. And I began to understand my fear to be a lack of trust of me, my spirit and my connection to GOD. I began to pray for everyone who came to mind. And with each prayer I stepped out of my fear and into trust and love.
Not sure of time, but about 4 am or so I think I finally fell asleep. And right before I did, I knew I could have walked down to the lower deck and fallen asleep there. (but I didn’t have a flash light, and knew I still would need that to maneuver through the woods)
My original goal was to actually sleep down there, and listen to the babbling brook. And although I did not do that this time, I now know I could.
One of the visions that got me through this experience was trying to imagine being blind (darkness) and deaf (stillness) and how one could live everyday as if they were in the woods. I realized that what we trust in is an illusion. Being in the dark, forces one to trust their instincts, and trust their higher power completely and unreservedly. There is nothing that we can hear and see that is absolute.
What we know to be true in our soul is safe and when it is connected purely to our source, we are protected.
Now when I woke up, the stars were gone, the sky was lighting up (not quite dawn) and I was able to look out into the woods and see light. And I felt joy, and peace and exhilaration that I overcame a fear.
Of course I ran inside to share my joy with my daughter, (and woke her up), then laid down on the floor and fell sound asleep for 4 hours. (She couldn’t go back to sleep).
Her perspective might add a little to this experience. She said as she laid there, in close proximity to my experience, she could feel all of my fear and could not sleep. When I finally calmed down and relaxed, so could she. It was evidence that our energy does affect those around us. Interestingly enough, she had a plan, if anything was to happen to me. She was ready with the fire extinguisher to annihilate any potential threat. I celebrate her ability to share this experience with me. (Especially sleeping with the windows open without enough blankets to stay warm)
Now, as you react to this story some of you will say, well that certainly was no big deal. But the point of the experience is to face whatever causes you fear, anxiety and overcome it. Sometime we are so busy avoiding things; we don’t even know what would paralyze us with fear. But I can guarantee you that there is something in everyone.
The good treatment for anxiety is exposure therapy (standing in the middle of it and overcoming it). It desensitizes you to whatever it is you fear (real or perceived.) There is a darkness that you avoid. Flying in airplanes, speaking public, driving on freeways, being alone, loosing control and the list goes on. Being connected and true to oneself, and connected to the source allows one to not only face fears but find joy and peace in the midst of them.
So about 2 years ago I was working closely with a shaman to get in touch with myself, my healer, my higher power and my ability to inspire healing.
We did many very cool exercises working with nature and animals that reflected the energy of the Native Americans that I so deeply honor and respect.
Many of the exercise were about developing trust. (Of myself and of my higher power).The last one she asked me to do was go out in the woods by myself and spend 24 hours totally alone. About this time there was a girl killed and a couple missing in the mountains of north Georgia where I was living. There are rattle snakes, and bears and wild cats and wolves and all sorts of unknown phenomenon. Just thinking about it gave me raw fear to the core.
I sort of disconnected myself from the process and went on with my life. But over the months I began to wonder why that was such a difficult process. The Indians did it everyday of their lives. I knew someday I would work through my issues so that I could actually do it.
An opportunity came up a few days ago that allowed me to move towards that end. I was invited back to the mountains of North Georgia and provided a cabin to stay in for the night. Now the cabin is out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods (National forests actually). On the door of the cabin there are claw marks where a bear tried to scratch its way in. Down the hill there is a little deck by a stream that the owner of the cabin (my friend) used to sleep on all the time to commune with nature. On one of those occasions she was confronted by 6 bears wandering in that wilderness.
Initially I was going to just go there by myself and sleep in the cabin as a step closer to my goal. But instead my daughter met me there to have a girly day, and I decided that with her in the cabin, I was going to sleep outdoors, on the deck.
To some of you that might not seem to be that big of a deal, and I actually felt that it would not be for me either. But as it turned out as midnight approached and I went to the deck with my blankets. I became paralyzed with fear. I was overwhelmed by the darkness and the silence. I heard myself say: “I don’t think I can do this”.
I did make some compromise, my daughter slept on the couch with the windows open which was right on the other side of the screens from where I was. And I left a light on upstairs in the loft of the cabin, and lit one candle at the top of the steps of the deck.
Even with that, I was in a state of panic when she went inside and I was left outside alone. I spent an hour or so literally sitting straight up looking around, in a state of freeze, waiting for some evil creature to jump out of no where. I could not get my sympathetic nervous system reversed with parasympathetic nervous system triggers.
Over the next few hours I eased down into a reclining position. (The goal was to actually feel relaxed enough to sleep.) At some point I had to pee. Could have gone inside, but felt that was the easy way; so I eased down the steps of the deck and out into the woods a little bit, and did what every good camper would do.
When I return to the deck I started feeling calmer. And I began to understand my fear to be a lack of trust of me, my spirit and my connection to GOD. I began to pray for everyone who came to mind. And with each prayer I stepped out of my fear and into trust and love.
Not sure of time, but about 4 am or so I think I finally fell asleep. And right before I did, I knew I could have walked down to the lower deck and fallen asleep there. (but I didn’t have a flash light, and knew I still would need that to maneuver through the woods)
My original goal was to actually sleep down there, and listen to the babbling brook. And although I did not do that this time, I now know I could.
One of the visions that got me through this experience was trying to imagine being blind (darkness) and deaf (stillness) and how one could live everyday as if they were in the woods. I realized that what we trust in is an illusion. Being in the dark, forces one to trust their instincts, and trust their higher power completely and unreservedly. There is nothing that we can hear and see that is absolute.
What we know to be true in our soul is safe and when it is connected purely to our source, we are protected.
Now when I woke up, the stars were gone, the sky was lighting up (not quite dawn) and I was able to look out into the woods and see light. And I felt joy, and peace and exhilaration that I overcame a fear.
Of course I ran inside to share my joy with my daughter, (and woke her up), then laid down on the floor and fell sound asleep for 4 hours. (She couldn’t go back to sleep).
Her perspective might add a little to this experience. She said as she laid there, in close proximity to my experience, she could feel all of my fear and could not sleep. When I finally calmed down and relaxed, so could she. It was evidence that our energy does affect those around us. Interestingly enough, she had a plan, if anything was to happen to me. She was ready with the fire extinguisher to annihilate any potential threat. I celebrate her ability to share this experience with me. (Especially sleeping with the windows open without enough blankets to stay warm)
Now, as you react to this story some of you will say, well that certainly was no big deal. But the point of the experience is to face whatever causes you fear, anxiety and overcome it. Sometime we are so busy avoiding things; we don’t even know what would paralyze us with fear. But I can guarantee you that there is something in everyone.
The good treatment for anxiety is exposure therapy (standing in the middle of it and overcoming it). It desensitizes you to whatever it is you fear (real or perceived.) There is a darkness that you avoid. Flying in airplanes, speaking public, driving on freeways, being alone, loosing control and the list goes on. Being connected and true to oneself, and connected to the source allows one to not only face fears but find joy and peace in the midst of them.
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