AAA: Having a witness to your life.

These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake

Many of us have Triple A road service and protection. I am suggesting that there is a similar protection for our spiritual journey needs.

Let’s call it Accountability, Authenticity and Awareness.

So here is the story: A few weeks back I was going into a bad place, needing a great attitude adjustment. So I called my coach, shaman, mentor, therapist person. I just babbled about this and that; and how did I get back into such a dark place. As I widdled down through the issues, it became apparent that this was days of stuffing feelings, and days of ignoring what I knew to be true, and days of letting my power leek away into oblivion.

What I was able to identify is a tad of anger in my veins. (“A TAD” is pretty much an understatement) But I had fallen recently and I was in pain, and remnants of the dog bite to my face surfaced. And a little of this old issue and a little of that old issue, was lingering and the bottom line was I had stopped meditating, being quiet and had stopped praying.

So my assignment was to commit to 10/30. For thirty days I was to spend 10 minutes of quiet time being connected to my self. (Being out of my head and into my body, being connected to my higher power, to my spirit to my guides whatever terminology you want to use) I was directed to either just sit, if I had nothing to say, or scream or speak, or cry or laugh, but the one thing I was not allowed to do is think. This was all about getting out of the analytical, critical, denial producing, cover up inducing head. It was about being authentic, being honest, gut wrenching honest, feeling, and getting back to the knowing in ones soul and heart. Not mind knowing, but soul knowing.

And then I was to write her everyday via email as a way of being accountable. Now the rules were that she was not going to comment or respond, unless she did not hear from me. This process was not about feedback, it was about the ability one has with in them self to become aware.

So the process started 11 days ago, and on one day I received a message of: ?????? because I hadn’t written. After that, the drive to do this on days I didn’t feel like it has kicked in because I know I am being accountable to another tribe member.

That accountability factor is huge. However it is also hard to be authentic when you are spilling gut wrenching feelings to another person you respect and honor. Trust is important here. You really can not do this kind of exercise without a recipient that is trained not to judge, is trained to honor your path, and who accepts you unconditionally. It is also important to have a recipient of this kind of feedback that knows how to dump it, not personalize it, and is able to witness it without feeling responsible to fix it.

The experience I have had so far has been amazing. There have been times of blah, times of anger, and times of incredible awareness. Feelings have surfaced that have stayed repressed by the will of the mind, for ever so long, and some seem like they have been waiting lifetimes to emerge and resolve.

My ten minutes a day has now shifted to twice a day. (Once a day to speak and once a day to listen) Simultaneous with this, has been a revival of peace, and power. Currently I am working on some creativity blockages. And my mind is saying thank god, I don’t have to work so hard.

There has been some integration of my personality that has kept me very compartmental and closed. I am feeling more open, and yet not more vulnerable.

It has been a great experience, and I challenged each of you to try this 10/30 day experiment of being accountable, authentic and aware. Find a witness to your journey, and donate energy back to them as a way of honoring their time and ability to accept your story.

Three powerful words:

These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake

Sometimes I think the three most powerful words I know are: I AM DONE !!!!
Every time my life has changed drastically, it has been shortly after I have said: “I am Done” with something.
I sold the business in Florida when I said “I am done trying to make this work” I have left jobs when I have said: “ I am done being stressed”
I have seen it in my clients when they have said: “ I am done being abused, and they walked out” “ I am done feeling guilty” and they have found joy. “ I am done putting everyone else first in my life” and they begin self care.
Recently in my life I saw things that were happening over and over again, and I said “I am done with this karma.”; And then handled the situation differently.
Being done is an ending. And in order to end something usually you have to be either totally fed up and broken or just fed up to the top. But can you say I am done, way earlier in the reaction change, if you are aware of what is going on.
I think negative situations drift into our lives to get our attention. And the less aware we are, the bigger the situation is. But to be aware sometimes means discomfort. To be aware means asking ourselves, what is the pay off, the benefit, the reward for continuing in some “bad behavior or state of mind?” I ask my clients that all the time: what is the benefit of feeling bad today? And they are shocked that I would think they want to stay that way. But the reality is we do what we want to do, and when we stop wanting to do it, we stop doing it. So if today I am fearful, there is a reason for that: perhaps it keeps me from having to trust the universe. Or if I feel helpless, it might be because feeling helpless means I have no responsibilities, and I have to take no risk, and I can blame everything on someone else. Or if I tired I can say, see, I can’t exercise, Or I can’t can’t can’t.
BUT if become aware of the benefit for my bad feelings, bad behavior, then I can alter them, and create a more powerful desire. I want to feel good. I want to have fun, I want to be successful, I want to be peaceful, energetic, prosperous, healthy, connected etc etc etc. and then the fear settles in because now I am aware of the consequences for those feelings: If I feel good, I will have nothing to complain about. If I have fun: OMG someone will think I am not being responsible. If I am successful, I will have to be perfect and work hard. If I am peaceful I will have to get quiet and meditate, and be true to my self and slow down, and for God sake how can I be peaceful and successful?
If I am energetic, I will have to eat right and reduce my stress and say no to people occasionally and…. I if I am prosperous, I might have to actually be aware of opportunities for change, (and then change) and be aware of how I spend money, be aware of…….now this is sounding like work… If I am healthy I might have to exercise and do self care. If I am connected I will have to be open.
Goodness. How did this conversation get started: Well for me it came from being done feeling old. So now I am paying attention to my body, to my mind and to my spirit.
I said I am done living in fear, which means opening to trust, and joy and opportunities.
Today I get up and say: “Today I am going to do things different.” Today I am going to be aware. Today I am going to feel good. Today I am successful, I am healthy, I am connected. Today I am prosperous. Today I am peaceful energetic. Today I attract all good things. Today I feel good.

Right after i wrote this i got this in an email:

'Don't go through life
so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!'

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street,
going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That is a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic.
'Please, mister....please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears
dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother, ' he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell
out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him
up.'
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling
lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh
scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too
shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very
noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life
so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have
time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or
not.

Listening to Gus

These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake

So it has been a month since my altercation with my sweet sweet Gus. (Details listed in previous blog.) The healing emotionally and the understanding of it has certainly been a process.
My face looks great! It still needs healing inside, (under the skin...some numb areas, some nerves still not working; but nothing I can't live with) My face is “asymmetrical” because of that, but even that is improving slowly and steadily.
Am beginning to be aware of some insights....and the situation has really connected to my professional work.
A few people have told us they saw this in gus....his potential…..but we never did: never in three years did either of us see this. (Reasons for this I will explain in a minute.)
This happens to me with people too….. I always see and look for the best in people. Goethe’s quote has been my mantra.... "if you treat a man as he is he will remain as he is, if you treat him as if he were what he could be and ought to be, he will become that.."
Sometimes I get blindsided by people....just as i was with gus....
The situation has been teaching us a different level of awareness so as not to get blindsided.
The state of mind I was in when I hugged gus was not alert / aware. (a little alcohol involved) a little altered. So my judgment or the lack there of is definitely a factor.
I am also am ashamed to say my love for and relationship with animals has been so selfish.... I sucked up their love and come to be dependent on it, with out regards to any need they might have. It is probably why I have never had a cat. They are too independent and they tell you when they want love, and really are not interested in when you need it.
We are entering into a new energy dynamic. We have been listening to him, now and with subtle clues he has been telling us where not to pet him. (or hug him) and for that i am respecting him more. The clues are subtle. (Obviously missed them due to my altered state)
This lesson is not just about respect, awareness and trust but is also about unconditional love.
We decided not to put gus down. Domestic violence batterers can beat the crap out of a partner and not be put down, often don’t go to jail and sometimes don’t even get a slap on the hand, so since they get to roam freely to do this again, figured gus had at least another chance.
Was surprised how many people wanted us to do that, and thought there was no other option. I do believe that thinking is fearful and somewhat narrow. We don’t kill alligators or snakes and tigers, but we live respectively honoring their position as wild animals. Gus has bitten and I will honor his potential to do it again, but will not stop loving him! We love him differently and respectively.
I am still grieving. Although Gus is still with us my relationship with him as it was is gone. My innocence is gone. My comfort at hugging him is gone; But opportunities to develop a new kind of relationship continues to exist however.
One of the biggest things we got from the pet healer (link to her site is listed above) is how to communicate with our animals. We tell him everyday what our expectations of him are, and every day we listen to him to see what he needs too. We are learning about non verbal communication.
Rich and I both get tired of politics because of the lying. But both of us are learning to hear and listen to clues rather than get overwhelmed with just words. Those same lessons are relevant as we work with animals. They can’t speak but they do communicate clearly if we listen.
It is in that non verbal communication that energy is exchanged. And both of us have been opening up to a new type of energy work, because of this. At the core of it is intent.
Intent is the combination of well thought out words and deeply aware desires. (All deserving of a separate entry) For now I just want to close by saying, that the pet healer allowed us to verbalize our desire to heal in words that were congruent to reality and physics. She also facilitated intent full of love and helped us reduce our fear and enhance our power through love. (Nothing mystical about it, and yet all spiritual and etheric)
We now are taking that to our clients and to our friends (and animals) Words combined with well informed intent, inspired from love, respect, without condition and trusting always the out come is exactly what it is supposed to be.
I still have a lot of questions about the violence in the animal kingdom, and the survival of the fittest. I have begun asking question of my higher self. I need some understanding of what God was thinking when he created a system that depended on killing another for their survival. Another topic another blog.

Turning TAR into STARs

A few weeks ago I had a little "Ta Da" moment which I tried to capture in words. When I emailed it to many of my friends and family. Several people wrote back and said you need to have a blog so you can share this with everyone, or put this on your web site, but this should be shared. It was this motivation that I decided to over come my fears and ignorance of the computer and create this blog. Here is the article:
Transforming TAR into a STAR…

Do you ever feel stuck and dirty, you know you have some purpose and function, but you do not like what it is at that moment? It is almost like you are covered with TAR. Recently I was in one of those places; stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck…and did I say stuck?

Well I reached out to the universe and said. I need some help: and through a series of events, I was led through a very dark place into the light. I transformed my TAR feeling into that of light (star) feeling. I identified a whole list of things that were wrong. (A very long list) But it really boiled down to three basic things:

TIME, AVOIDANCE, and REACTIVITY. TAR

Reactivity is what happens when something happens and we react to it. It usually brings with it a physiological response. (Heart rate, hunger, fatigue, anger, anxiety, fear, racing thoughts, shallow breathing, muscle tension, and on and on) Some of the reactivity is a feeling of being out of control, or at least feeling of being out of control. It is a feeling of having a button pushed, helpless, and irritable. It is an awful feeling, and we just want it to go away. There is no one in their right mind who would ever want to stay in that feeling, but it seems as if no matter what we do, it won’t go away.

Now if you are receiving this, I know for a fact that you know exactly what I am talking about. And each of you and me has different ways of soothing that reactivity, but it is a natural drive of human nature to make it go away. I shut down, go into a cave, or run. (Think about it: is that not fight or flight or freeze?) (The hallmarks of trauma responses) AND because few of us are comfortable with that hyper vigilance, we immediately or eventually enter into avoidance.

Avoidance is all that we do to avoid the feelings of discomfort, thinking for some idiotic moment that feelings of discomfort are bad and should be avoided at all cost. There is some new thinking and data that says, avoidance is the most common trigger of depression or anxiety. We get depressed because we are avoiding change, or avoiding resolution, or avoiding closure. Avoidance is exhausting, and probably more exhausting than the reactivity.

How would life change for you or for me, if instead of avoiding things we felt them, confronted them and healed them, with CHANGE? “Me thinks” that feeling them, sitting in them and learning from them would bring about better outcomes. “Me thinks” that looking at discomfort, and feeling it as a positive experience would change our awareness significantly. “Me thinks” that uncomfortable feelings are a gift, and opportunity to release. Conflict and chaos are brought into our lives to help us see in a mirror more accurately our own issues. Chaos is NEVER about what is going on around us or to us but is an indication that there is something inside of ourselves that we are avoiding.
When we stop avoiding, the chaos stops. The pain often rises up. But then goes off as a celebration that it is finally allowed to be released. Now I also know that if you are receiving this, you know this, and have experienced this, and are grateful for this reminder.

So then what is the problem? The problem is time. We want it now, yesterday, immediately. And if that does not happen; we immediately begin to doubt, to distrust, and the running and hiding and fighting return. Time: man’s number one enemy, it seems. So we go in circles: chasing our tails until we drop in our tracks, screaming, exhausted, and then we lay quiet as if dead.

And the HEALING begins.

The STAR: Silence, Trust, Awareness, Relaxation

Getting still and quiet and comfortable with silence is the beginning of the transformation. Getting quiet and listening to what our body is telling us, will restore and redirect our energy from dark to light. Shutting down the mind and simply “feeling” is an open door to knowing. Knowing does not come from our brain, it comes from a place way down deep inside of ourselves that generates our feelings as a way to communicate to the human we are.

Feelings are simply the body’s reaction to thoughts and people and situations and life. They are there to be honored and listened to and acted upon or released. Feelings sometimes just need to be noticed and released, but other times when they becoming annoying and disturbing they need to be acted upon. But in either case feelings are about becoming aware of what we know either consciously or unconsciously. Once we become aware, we will always know what to do; to release or act upon. Awareness is an intuition. It is a feeling of clarity, peacefulness even in the midst of chaos.

It will give you a sense of “I know what I need to do”. BUT, we still don’t do it at times because we are not TRUSTING. Now there is a scary phenomenon: TRUST….or is it? Trust like time is the key to the kingdom. Trusting it is all good, it is happening as a gift, and that all things in this life are generated by love has at its roots a monumental connection to oneself, ones higher power and ones purpose. Trusting that I deserve the very best, trusting that I am manifesting an incredible journey, and trusting that all is as it is supposed to be. Trusting that even in the sacrifices there is joy. Trusting that I am never alone and that I am connected to all things and all people and trusting that I can and AM making a difference.

Once I find this trust, and this quiet, I can relax and all things become effortless, and the chaos leaves. I do not have to worry, or fear and fret. I can instead, explore, and experience fully every moment. I can relax and play and laugh and sing and dance and love and give and ….well you know, the possibilities are endless….and that makes hope, and joy, and pleasure, and it creates tribes, and moments of absolute beauty when you look up and all you see is the stars because the clouds have lifted, the air is clear, and all is right with the world.

These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake