Just BEING

I am amazed continually with how uncomfortable I am with just being,
Not being entertained, and not doing something, just being. Even writing this blog is having to DO something. I am driven to serve and to fix and to problem solve. I like being busy, whether its busy with fun or busy with work.

And the brain, OMG, does it ever just do nothing? I sit to meditate…. But find myself jabbering away at some form of a higher power, with god, with angels, with ancestors, with my totems: something.

I can tell you that getting quiet is a necessary part of healing, but doing it is something entirely different. There is that word again: “doing”. I think that meditation is something that we should be doing….. But it is still not just being.

All of my spiritual heroes and mentors have written about and spoken about the power of being, and yet, it seems to elude me. So I ask: so what do I want to be? I want to be happy, and free and peaceful and energetic. I want to dance and be creative and productive and alive.

I want to be connected and healthy and making a difference and I want to be able to sit quietly and just be all that I am without doing anything. I guess one would have to feel pretty good about themselves to do that. And I guess I would have to feel like I have value just because I exist for me to not feel guilty over doing nothing and just being.

So I believe that all things are as they are supposed to be, and nothing is as it seems and that there is a gift in all experiences. So for today, and for this moment I am going to simply embrace the gift of breathing and being alive and have no expectations and just be in every present moment.

These are our thoughts feelings and experiences. We accept responsibility for them. We understand your journey may be different. We honor and respect that. Wishing you effortless joy. Eloise and Jake